


Uncharted Depths

by DuaeCat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: AU, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Mutual Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:58:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuaeCat/pseuds/DuaeCat
Summary: When Kanan sets out alone to Lothal on a reconnaissance mission he’s not expecting to find much of anything. He finds Ezra instead, a young man full of trouble, surprises, and a great deal more.





	1. Chapter 1

Kanan landed his ship at the tiny and out of the way fueling station. He patted the controls fondly before he got up, making his way towards the exit. He liked being on The Ghost’s crew well enough, but at the same time he hadn’t exactly hesitated to take a long solo mission. On The Ghost he never forgot it was Hera’s ship. Hera didn’t like anyone else touching the controls, Hera liked things done a certain way, Hera made the supply lists, Hera gave the orders. Kanan didn’t blame her one bit, he was sure he’d be just as possessive of The Escape if he had any sort of a crew. After a while, though, it was good to take off before they started getting on each other’s nerves too badly. He didn’t feel too guilty, Zeb had settled in just fine as Specter Four and would provide any extra muscle she needed. If Zeb felt any annoyance at having to take orders he didn’t show it. Even if he never talked about it, Kanan would have put serious money on Zeb being former military. He was probably used to or even enjoyed the rigid rules that irritated Kanan.

There was also always the subtle pressure that he was disappointing her that constantly lurked in the back of his mind. She was usually the one pushing to be subtle, be careful, not draw attention to themselves. But then her eyes would flick to his empty belt clip and her lips would narrow just a fraction and he’d have to bite back the dozen or so things that sprang to the tip of his tongue to remind her that announcing to the Galaxy that he had once been a Jedi was a Very Bad Idea. It might help them once, maybe twice, as long as the enemy wasn’t suspecting it. But after that there wouldn’t be a safe corner in the galaxy for him and anyone who stood with him.

The first impression of Lothal was a good one. It was a flat, open area with rolling grassland outside the areas mowed short for ships to land. The sun was warm, but the breeze held a hint of a chill that kept it from being too hot to be pleasant. It might turn less comfortable if the breeze kept up in colder weather, but for now there were so many worse places Kanan could have volunteered to go. He glanced up at the sign and then headed into Old Jho’s to pay for fuel and see if anyone felt chatty. This was entirely reconnaissance, the Empire had recently been increasing the amount of resources and manpower they were sending to this out of the way Outer Rim planet, and he was to see if anyone knew why. Kanan still didn’t know how he felt about only being given a fraction of the information he knew Hera had gotten concerning the planet and Imperial forces on it and why it was so important to gather additional information. He understood that if he was caught there was less information he could give up, but it meant he might miss something important just because he didn’t know it was important. Or alternatively he might discover some important piece of information that Hera had already known about for ages, making it useless.

Kanan had arrived early enough in the day it was only him and the person behind the bar, an Ithorian that he suspected might be the owner. He took a seat, ordering a sandwich and drink. The food would give him an excuse to linger.

“What brings you to Lothal?” The Ithorian asked, setting down the drink first. The translator box around his neck taking his speech and providing a Basic translation.

“Looking for temp work, maybe something seasonal.” It was the truth, a job would provide a cover story as well as enough credits to cover his expenses.

“You might have better luck checking around Capitol City, but some friendly advice if you want it. Keep on going, everyone’s looking for work around here,” Jho cautioned as he handed over the plate. Kanan frowned.

“I’ve done a fair bit of cargo hauling, and I’ve never known an agricultural planet that couldn’t use a few more willing workers,” Kanan said, taking a bite of the sandwich. The meat was typical autochef protein fare, but the vegetables and bread were both fresh, which put it a notch above what he was used to eating on ship.

“Your information’s out of date, a few cycles ago the fishing industry went under along with most of the main commercial farms. What’s left is all individual owned and what temporary work they need is fought over by dozens of skilled workers. If you have an Imperial cargo license you might be in luck, but you’d need to ask elsewhere about that,” Jho said, even the flat tone of the translation box managing to convey discouragement.

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks for the advice.” Kanan passed over credits for the food, making sure to tip well enough. It never hurt to keep on the good side of people willing to be chatty like this, as long as it turned out the information was correct.

 

* * *

 

 

Kanan’s first impressions of Capitol City were decidedly less positive than his general impression of the planet. The city was, at first glance, no different from a dozen others. People were people, the whole galaxy over, and tended to follow patterns if you knew what to look for. The expected things were there, roads, shops, vehicles, people bustling around on their own business. What wasn’t normal was the feeling of the place, a sort of exhausted nervousness he’d felt a few times before. Usually it was in a single business with truly awful management and he’d learned to avoid those places like the plague. When punishments were too strict and at the same time too random the people responded by self-correcting and over-correcting, staying on guard in hopes of anticipating the next punishment. The mantra became ‘Be careful and you won’t get hurt’, with an undercurrent of ‘be careful and they’ll hurt someone else.’

It wasn’t hard to see why everyone was caught up in the cycle either, not when Imperial uniforms and armor were scattered among the people moving along the street. A very small part of him snarled at the injustice of it, it shouldn’t be this way. In the places he’d worked in the past, people welcomed the appearance of people in authority because you knew they’d have your back. There might be some nervousness, yes, for making sure you made a good impression, but not the sort of constant fear that led to a helpless exhaustion leaving nothing left to try and hope for better.

Kanan gritted his teeth, doing his best to shake off the way the sight of so many Imperials made the hairs on the back of his neck crawl, and started looking for likely businesses. He couldn’t let them make him as jumpy as everyone else or it would throw him off his game. There wasn’t any reason for them to be interested in Kanan Jarrus, and he’d keep it that way.

After three businesses reluctantly gave him the same story Kanan came to the conclusion that Jho’s information had been all too correct. The only real jobs were with the Empire, and there were enough locals squabbling over the dwindling outside jobs that it wasn’t likely a newcomer was going to get their foot in the door. Even if people sometimes got arrested for this or that and left an opening, it may have been a morbid way to job hunt, but people were more than desperate enough to keep an eye on arrests and pounce on the opportunity. The advice was to keep moving, Garel was only a hop away and there was plenty of work for a cargo pilot there. He hadn’t intended to give up so easily on his first plan, originally he had all of the first day or longer planned to hunt for a regular job, but he was fairly certain all that would do was waste time. That was the good part about leading his own mission, he could go ahead and move on to plan B. But first, he needed to get good and drunk.

 

* * *

 

It took Kanan longer than he would have liked to find a suitable bar. The first couple he tried were too clean cut, and he wasn’t about to accomplish anything drinking with off-duty Imperials. Finally after a stopping a few people and asking for directions to somewhere a little less crowded he found the kind of bar he was looking for and ducked inside to make some new friends. There were a number of tricks to making it look like you were drinking a lot more than you were, and Kanan knew most of them. As long as he was buying things and not making trouble he could start establishing himself as the right kind of person. And then… he could start looking for the jobs you couldn’t just stroll in and ask nicely about. He was certain that the stranglehold the Empire had on the city had resulted in a healthy and thriving underground, it always did. He just couldn’t exactly start asking about it without raising suspicions and probably getting himself a few new scars for being too nosy. Kanan had really hoped Plan A would have worked out, he knew he’d probably have ended up feeling out the less savory parts of the planet anyway, but he preferred to do so on his own terms as a freelancer. Actively joining criminal groups, however temporary, was almost always so much more trouble than it was worth. Kanan tried to ignore the little voice that piped up and asked if that wasn’t exactly what he’d done with the Ghost, that was different. He could walk away if he wanted to without worrying about a knife in the back.

Kanan settled in to nurse a couple drinks and buy for others, listening and occasionally offering a sympathetic prompt to the general grumblings. He was getting a good feel for the situation timeline, the Empire had taken a small notice of Lothal roughly a decade ago and done their standard takeover of political structure and communications, and then like most Outer Rim planets not much had changed. For the average farmer or fisherman or other inhabitant there wasn’t much difference between the Republic and the Empire. Then the Academies were built, then the shipyards, and the mining operations, and everything started to collapse. The thing that was starting to frustrate Kanan was no one even seemed to be asking why. There were countless planets, better located, better suited for those things. Planets were you wouldn’t have ruined a productive agricultural system in order to build them. People, and the Empire was no different, tended to be motivated by three things; greed, spite, or ideology. Either there was some hidden profit that outweighed the loss, someone wanted Lothal ruined, or someone thought they were helping. There wasn’t much of anything he could do about the second two, for all he knew whoever was in charge of assigning what was built where happened to have a grudge with someone on Lothal and it was as petty as that. If it was a hidden profit though, that could be important. It had the right feel of the kind of information he was supposed to bring back. He just wished he had the foggiest clue of what that might be.

Finally Kanan decided he’d spent long enough in the bar, he’d been there long enough to be seen as sympathetic to those being hurt by the Empire and he was starting to get tipsy even spacing out his drinks. He paid his bill and headed out, relaxed and feigning a little more unsteady than he actually was.

Kanan shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was when a warning tingle in the back of his mind made him turn quickly without even thinking, grabbing at the wrist of the hand that was about to slip into his pocket. An offworlder coming out of a bar made for a tempting target, but it wasn’t that late and the street was well lit. The pickpocket was either very confident or desperate and he met startled bright blue eyes and held them in a steady gaze.

“What do you think you’re doing?”


	2. Chapter 2

Ezra wasn’t sure what prompted him to linger after his delivery had been made. He hated playing delivery boy, but it was a good way to get a few credits and his last few attempts to steal Imperial goods for resale had left him empty handed or with useless junk. As distasteful as it was, dropping off a backpack that was probably full of drugs for one of Vizago’s dealers was better than going hungry. There wasn’t any real reason to stick around, but not much to hurry either. The shops where he could find a decent deal on food were already closed and the refueling stations for his bike would be open all night. That was when he saw the man leaving the bar. There wasn’t anything that should have caught his attention, but for some reason he felt an odd shiver run up his spine. He tried not to ignore those little feelings, they tended to be important. He had gotten out of serious trouble by listening to them in the past. He held his breath, waiting to get a feel for what he should do.

Nothing, aside from the odd feeling his subconscious didn’t seem willing to offer him any more hints. He didn’t feel like he should avoid him, or that something awful was about to happen, those were always sinking, sickening feelings. This was something else entirely, but aside from vaguely feeling like he should do something he had no clue what the feeling might mean. After several long moments of hesitation, while the man moved on obliviously, Ezra finally made up his mind. Maybe whatever the guy was carrying would shed some light on the odd feeling he was getting about him and he moved in.

Ezra had been successfully picking pockets for years without getting caught, the last thing he was expecting was the man to suddenly move, grabbing Ezra’s wrist before he could even touch him. Ezra was shocked, emotionally and literally when the same sort of odd tingly feeling radiated up his arm at the sudden contact before it faded away. For a moment the man seemed almost as startled as he did, then his eyes narrowed.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice sounded equal parts annoyed and accusatory and Ezra tugged his arm back, trying unsuccessfully to free his wrist.

“Nothing, let me go.” Ezra wanted to try bluffing first. He couldn’t use his slingshot one handed and he didn’t want to try and escalate things if he didn’t have to. The guy was at least a good head taller than him and obviously had quick reflexes.

“We both know that’s a lie...” The man trailed off, and then looked more speculative. “How about this, you do me a favor, and I don’t turn you in for trying to steal from me?”

“What kind of favor?” Ezra asked suspiciously. The guy didn’t look like the sort to be awful, but you could never really tell. He was tall, which he’d already noticed, with a lean build. Dark brown hair was pulled back in a low ponytail and out of his face. His warm brown skin and strong nose wasn’t far off from how a lot of humans living on Lothal looked, but his eyes were unusual. They were a striking mix somewhere between blue and green that couldn’t quite seem to settle on which color was more appropriate.

“I need some information, come on.” The man glanced around. It wasn’t exceptionally busy but there were a few people close enough to be paying attention to them. Ezra knew from experience they weren’t likely to do anything to help, but the stranger started tugging him towards a nearby alley. Ezra went reluctantly, and he wouldn’t have gone at all if it wasn’t for the weird calm he was feeling about all of this. Normally his instincts would be screaming at him to get out of there, but for now he was cautiously willing to keep going and find out what the guy wanted.

“Alright, fine, what do you need to know?” Ezra asked, trying to sound more confident than he felt.

“I need to know the main criminals who work out of Lothal are and how to approach them,” The man stated, like it was a perfectly ordinary request.

Ezra stared at him, and then tried not to laugh. “Is that it? It won’t do you much good, but fine. Right now Cikatro Vizago is based on Lothal and Azmorigan goes back and forth between Lothal and Garel and probably a couple other places. You meet them by knowing people.” Ezra knew he wasn’t saying anything that mattered, there were files a mile long on both on them in the Imperial databases with far more information than that. He didn’t really seem much like an Imperial agent though.

“Well I know you now, so that’s a start,” The man said far too casually.

“What? No, you don’t know me. How about after this we both pretend we never met?” Ezra tugged at his wrist again.

“Look, I’m a pilot looking to make a few credits and it turns out that on Lothal the only way I’m going to get a legal job is to hold my nose and work for the Empire. I’m not that desperate, but I still need a job or two before I can take off. And I know you can help me there instead of me wasting a bunch of time trying to find someone else. So will you help me?” The man asked, and he sounded sincere. Ezra usually prided himself on knowing when he was being lied to.

“I gave you enough information, if you want me to try and set up a meeting with Vizago you’re going to need to give me more than just not a promise not to try and claim I tried to rob you with no proof but your word,” Ezra bargained.

“What do you want then, credits?” He asked.

“Partially. Once you leave I want off Lothal, and I want the means to get set up somewhere. A few months rent, a job, something like that.” Ezra wasn’t sure if he was starting the negotiations too high.

“If you just wanted off Lothal the shuttle between here and Garel is free, and plenty of spacers will let you hitch a ride if you’ll pay them in work,” The man sounded dubious.

“Yeah, but I’m a groundpounder, I don’t know the first thing about ships and most people aren’t going to waste the time holding my hand. And there’s fewer and fewer independent ships showing up all the time,” Ezra pointed out.

He could see the man turning it over in his head and he tried not to look too nervous about the outcome. You never let them know when it was important to you.

“Fine, you make it so I can talk to Vizago, I’ll make sure you get off Lothal. Why him and not Azmorigan?” He finally said after taking long enough that Ezra was starting to sweat.

“Because Azmorigan doesn’t like freelancers. He’s got his own local men and his droids and he does business, not job offers. Also I’m only setting up the meeting, it’s not my fault if he turns you down. Deal?” Ezra asked.

“Deal. I’ll get you off Lothal and wherever you want to go, but unless I get a job I’m not going to be able to pay you.” The man seemed to realize he was still holding onto Ezra’s wrist, and dropped it. Ezra resisted the urge to rub it.

“That’s fair. Do you know the fueling station a few klicks outside the city?” Ezra asked.

“Old Jho’s? Yeah. I know where it is.” The man nodded.

“Meet me there around noon tomorrow and I’ll let you know what’s going on.” Ezra hesitated just a moment. It wasn’t like he was planning to make friends, but being called something other than ‘hey you’ would be nice. “My name’s Ezra Bridger.”

“Kanan Jarrus.” The man stuck out his hand and Ezra automatically shook it, a little surprised at the gesture. “I better see you there.”

“You will, don’t worry.” Ezra backed off after the handshake, and then made himself scarce, starting to take a roundabout way back to his bike and wondering what in space he’d gotten himself into. He missed that Kanan stayed where he left him for a long minute, watching where he’d vanished with a speculative look on his face.

 

* * *

 

Ezra was halfway hoping Kanan wouldn’t show up, even if that would make him look foolish after arranging the meeting. No such luck, not long after he finished fueling up his bike a sleek looking ship landed, with Kanan coming out of the open hatch a minute later.

“Good, right on time. Were you able to get everything arranged?” Kanan didn’t waste any time with small talk.

“I was, I got the coordinates. Is there room for my bike on your ship?” Ezra asked.

“Plenty of room, bring it on up.” Kanan motioned at the hatch and Ezra walked his bike over.

“Good, it’s not a short trip and I’d rather not bike the whole way.” Ezra knew he was maybe getting a little spoiled. Before he’d taken the junked bike and rebuilt half of it with stolen parts he’d have been begging rides or walking if he could. He did not miss taking the long trek between his tower and Capitol City on foot.

“Where are we going anyway?” Kanan asked, waiting until he secured his bike in place before closing the hatch up and starting up to where the cockpit was located.

Ezra gave him the coordinates, following him up to the cockpit and flopping down in the copilot seat. “If it’s like I’ve heard before though, Vizago won’t be there himself. He’ll have someone waiting to lead us to wherever once they determine you’re not likely to be a threat.”

“And if I was a threat?” Kanan asked, putting the coordinates in the nav computer and starting up.

“Dunno, I’d probably be screwed though, so you better not be,” Ezra warned him.

“Don’t worry, this isn’t exactly my first time.” Kanan didn’t seem concerned and Ezra did his best not to worry. If Kanan was a bounty hunter or Imperial he’d be nervous, wouldn’t he? He seemed perfectly calm and Ezra wished he shared his confidence.

The trip out to the rock formation indicated in the coordinates didn’t take long, and Kanan set the ship down in the middle of them.

“Smart choice, the mineral deposits in the outcroppings probably do a fair job of foiling any sensor sweeps, and the rocks themselves provide visual camouflage. You’d still get seen by a flyover, but it would take a long time to inspect each and every rock formation big enough to hide a ship in,” Kanan observed.

Ezra just made an agreeing sound, deciding not to mention he’d only ever thought of the fact it would hide ships and people from view. No need to open his big mouth and sound like even more of a dumb local.

There was an enforcer droid waiting for them, and some sort of hovering drone.

“Identify yourselves,” The droid spoke flatly, and Ezra was never sure how they managed to sound both bored and faintly menacing at the same time.

“Ezra Bridger, here like I said I would be,” Ezra spoke first.

“Kanan Jarrus,” Kanan said briefly.

“No spy devices detected on your vessel or persons. Follow your guide drone,” The droid said and then went still.

Ezra grabbed his bike, walking it out while Kanan did the same. He tried not to be slightly jealous, while the bike looked well used and wasn’t exactly shiny new, it was still a great deal nicer than Ezra’s own. Then again, that was why he was doing this, for a chance at real life somewhere else where he didn’t have to make due with discarded scraps and stolen goods. The drone waited for them both to get on before it took off, zipping along at a good clip that they wouldn’t have any problem following.

“We won’t have to do this every time, will we?” Kanan yelled over the wind, not taking his eyes off the route ahead.

“As long as you don’t give him any reason to be suspicious.” Ezra finally decided on as the best answer he could give without letting on that he wasn't all that knowledgeable about what Vizago might choose to do.

 

* * *

 

Just when Ezra started to worry, another rock formation came into view, the drone heading right for it. They followed it in, pulling to a stop in front of Vizago himself and three more of his enforcer droids.

“So you’re the one who wants to meet with me.” Vizago didn’t bother with small talk, looking Kanan over and ignoring Ezra. Ezra bristled at the obvious lack of concern, but didn’t say anything. “Tell me why I should hire you.”

“I’ve got a fast ship, I’m a good pilot, and I have a knack for being able to acquire things. It’s a good opportunity for you,” Kanan stated, hopping off his bike in an easy motion.

“Everyone with a garbage scow that doesn’t shake apart when it gets more than a meter up thinks that about themselves. Why would I trust you?” Vizago didn’t sound impressed.

“I’m not expecting you to trust me, I’m just looking to get paid. You’re smart enough to have at least a couple potential jobs that wouldn’t cost you anything if I don’t come through, why don’t you toss one my way and you can see for yourself if it’s worth continuing to work together. ” Kanan said.

“Any job?” Vizago arched an eyebrow.

“I’ve got a couple rules. No murder for hire. Sometimes casualties happen, but I’m not an assassin. And no slavery. Honestly I’d prefer no live cargo at all because I don’t want to get stuck eating the loss if something up and dies while in transit, but absolutely no slaves,” Kanan spoke firmly.

Vizago actually laughed at that, grinning and baring his teeth. “So moral, no matter. The Imperial shipyard doubles as a weapons manufacturer, get me two crates of E-11s by next week and you’ll be paid fairly.”

“Lets see, last time I checked those go for what, two hundred credits, maybe two twenty five if you find the right buyer?” Kanan asked confidently, as if he wasn’t naming prices that were more credits than Ezra had ever seen in one place in his life. “Especially brand new off the line you won’t have any trouble getting top dollar.”

“I’ll give you twenty five apiece for them.” Vizago stated and Ezra bit down a protest. This wasn’t even his responsibility anymore, he’d done his job.

“That’s robbery and you know it, one hundred each.” Kanan snorted.

“Fifty, you’re getting them for free after all.” Vizago seemed amused at the bargaining.

“You say free as if my time’s not valuable, seventy five. Somehow I doubt most of the people you deal with are willing to steal weapons directly from the Empire.” Kanan pointed out.

“Is it? Fine, seventy five, but there better not be a single scratch on them.” Vizago held out his hand and without hesitation Kanan stepped forward to firmly clasp his wrist. “If you manage to get them, you can arrange the drop off time at the Rusted Keel.”

“Deal.” Kanan stepped back and flung his leg back over his bike. “You’ll get your blasters.”

“I hope so, but I’m not holding my breath. Good luck, Jarrus.” Vizago said.

Kanan didn’t bother replying, taking off and after a moment of indecision Ezra followed him, feeling decidedly out of place and not thrilled about it. He hadn’t needed to be there at all, and it seemed awkward to follow Kanan back after it. All that was left now was to get paid, and that might not be for a while. Ezra was kicking himself a little for not setting a time frame, he didn’t have any idea how soon Kanan would pay up, and he hadn’t been thinking clearly enough to ask before.

Kanan slowed and motioned for him to stop before they got more than halfway back to where he’d left the ship, puzzled, Ezra pulled up beside him to see what he wanted.

“Well, that could have gone a lot worse.” Kanan looked pleased though.

“Yeah, I mean, you got the job, right?” Ezra asked cautiously.

“He’d be lucky to get each one for a hundred credits apiece and he knows it, but that’s the price for getting in. Now the bigger question.” Kana paused, looking at him and suddenly serious. “How do you feel about breaking into an Imperial compound?”

“You want my help?” Ezra asked dubiously.

“Sure, if you’re up for it. I know I can get in, but two crates is going to be too much for me to handle in one trip and I’d rather not try twice back to back. What do you say?” Kanan asked.

Ezra bit his bottom lip, thinking. Then after just a moment he decided to throw caution to the winds. “Getting in’s not the problem. I’ve been breaking into the Imperial shipyards since I was old enough to walk, the warehouses are better guarded though. If you think you can get us back _out_ with the goods then I’m in. And I want a cut.”

“You’ll get a cut, it’ll go towards setting you up somewhere else. We’ll be in and out no problem.” Kanan smiled then and Ezra tried hard not to notice how big a change it was from how serious he’d looked when dealing with Vizago.

“Deal.” Ezra smiled back tentatively, echoing the previous conversation, and held his hand out. This time when Kanan gripped his wrist in a quick gesture he was ready for the odd tingle that accompanied it. It felt cautiously optimistic, and that was something Ezra hadn’t really let himself feel in years.

“Then lets go, we’ve got some planning to do.”


	3. Chapter 3

Kanan was being determinedly optimistic about the whole situation. He wasn’t the biggest fan of needing to rely on others and he’d have been happier with a job he could have done on his own. He was fairly certain that setting him up for the likelihood of failure might even have been part of Vizago’s plan. Of the people he could have had to rely on though, he had a tentative amount of confidence in Ezra. The young man’s self-assurance was certainly at least partially bravado, but that was no great crime. Ezra had been reliable in setting up the meeting, he had good reason to help out since he was getting something good out of it, and he knew a lot more about Lothal than Kanan did. It could have been much worse, Kanan speculated.

“Shipments are prepped a few days in advance with marked crates moved to the warehouse closest to the landing pad. The more expensive stuff is locked up in the warehouse itself, but there’s usually some overflow out in the open. Between two and four in the morning the only people around are a few guards, the rest of the time there are people working in there.” Ezra said, looking over the projection of the Imperial shipyard Kanan had up.

“It seems like two main options are to try and sneak in, in which case the fewer people the better, or pretend to be part of the crew and walk right out with the crates.” Kanan decided to keep the plans as simple as possible while he was still a little unsure of Ezra’s usefulness.

“Walking in would be hard, there’s not been any turnover in a while and everyone knows everyone else. You’d be questioned when nobody recognized you,” Ezra pointed out, and Kanan nodded thoughtfully.

“Breaking in it is then. We’ll park the bikes here.” Kanan indicated a section near the compound. “Get the crates out, hook them up, and get out of there.” While it was a little riskier than trying to fake working there in order to walk out with them, it was a lot less complicated and he liked that.

“Is that as much of a plan as we’re going to have?” Ezra asked, smiling a little.

“It’s good enough, leaves plenty of room to improvise when things don’t go according to plan. You’re going to need one of these.” Kanan got up to find a spare com unit, testing it and then handing it over. Ezra clipped it to his belt without complaint.

“How many times have you done this anyway, or something like this?” Ezra asked, sounding honestly curious.

“Too many to remember. Got taken in by a thief and smuggler and taught the ropes and eventually I set out on my own,” Kanan said, smiling fondly.

“What happened to your parents?” Ezra asked after a moment of hesitation.

“The Clone Wars.” Kanan answered. It was true enough. He didn’t remember his birth parents, but the Order had been more than a family.

“Oh. The Empire took mine,” Ezra offered. He hadn’t been especially forthcoming about personal details or even inclined to volunteer information and Kanan took note of it.

“Another thing they have to answer for then,” Kanan said quietly, and it seemed to be the right answer from the way Ezra glanced at him and then nodded.

It was hard to place exactly how old Ezra was. Large, intensely blue eyes and a small frame would have made Kanan think he was on the younger side at first glance, but as he spent more time around him he decided he had one of those rounded faces that would keep looking young up until his hair started graying. His hair color was something Kanan saw more out on some outer rim planets, the deep blue color having entered the human gene pool thousands of years ago when humans and near-humans intermarried. Kanan remembered hearing that on core worlds where the genetic link was better known, most people opted to permanently change their hair color rather than run the risk of hybrid prejudice. The color suited him though, as did the shaggy cut.

Ezra’s clothes were a mismatch of different worn pieces, from the ripped orange flight suit to his threadbare jacket. About the only pieces that seemed to match were his boots, scuffed and dirty but sturdy. Kanan wondered if the look was intentional, most people in Ezra’s line of work tried not to advertise any success by looking too nice, but somehow he doubted it. Most people tended to do it like he did, with armor and clothes that weren’t new and shiny by any means, but were still functional. If Kanan had to give an assessment he’d have said Ezra was barely scraping by, keeping himself fed but without much left over. It wasn’t surprising, while he obviously had an in with Vizago he didn’t seem to have any sort of gang allegiances that would lead to a safety net of sorts.

Ezra cleared his throat questioningly, and Kanan realized he’d been quiet a little too long. He straightened up, and regarded the holo layout a little more seriously.

“Assuming the talk I’ve heard is correct and the transport arrives on time, here’s what we’re going to do...”

 

* * *

 

  
As far as break-ins went, this one was fairly smooth. Imperial shipyards had predictable blind spots, and while he could feel Ezra bristle occasionally when he whispered orders he hadn’t screwed anything up yet.

Kanan kept an eye out, tense as Ezra knelt and picked the lock to the warehouse door. He slipped inside and Kanan followed, closing it behind them. Inside it was dimly lit with crates stacked up everywhere in preparation for being loaded out.

“Whoa,” Ezra whispered, and Kanan couldn’t help smiling a little.

“Come on, we don’t have time to sight-see.” Kanan started checking the marks on the crates and after a beat Ezra did the same.

“Just trying to think how much all of these would be worth,” Ezra murmured back. “Ah, found them. You sure we should only grab two?”

“Yeah. A couple crates, even valuable crates go missing and they’ll be some yelling, maybe someone gets demoted or reassigned, some half-assed attempts to increase security for a little while, and then everyone forgets. Grab too much at once and they’ll increase security for real.” Kanan came over, helping to unlock the crates from the rest, pulling the lids to check the contents.

“Good point.” Ezra took both crates, linking them together and turning on the built in hoverpads, starting to push them towards the door. Kanan moved ahead to push the door open, his focus on Ezra and the crates.

“Kanan, the security system!” Ezra hissed just a moment too late as Kanan pushed on the door, only to have it bolt down.

Kanan gave the door an ineffective shove, cursing under his breath. “Who puts locks on the inside of a warehouse? No, don’t answer that.” Kanan pulled out his blaster, aiming at the lock. This was why he hated relying on others, he had enough trouble keeping track of things without needing to watch out for someone else.

“Wait, we’re going to be running right into security if we go that way,” Ezra glanced around.

“We don’t exactly have a choice at this point. When I say run, you head to the bikes, I’ll be right behind you,” Kanan said tensely. He had hoped for a quick in and out.

“If we head up to the roof we can go across to the next building, down the fire escape, and out. They won’t be expecting it,” Ezra spoke quickly.

“How are… right, the catwalks between them. Lets go.” Kanan changed direction, keeping his blaster drawn as they jogged as stealthily as possible towards the freight elevator. The alarms blaring would hopefully cover any sounds they were making and Imperial protocol was to cover the exits before going in. Depending on how quickly the other troopers could get there they might have a little time, or they might not. It wasn’t worth speculating about.

The trip up with the crates seemed to take an eternity and beside him Ezra was practically vibrating with nervous energy. Kanan knew the feeling well, having to stop and wait when every instinct was telling them to run was tortuous. But it wasn’t like they could get out and push and finally the elevator came to the roof. Kanan grabbed Ezra’s shoulder before he could rush out the door, shaking his head and then ducking out quickly to access the situation. He could hear noise from around the building, but the roof was clear. For now. He motioned for Ezra to follow him, heading to where the catwalk should be.

Then Kanan stopped dead. The catwalk should have been there, it was standard in all the Imperial warehouse complexes, but there was no catwalk. Between this building and the next was nothing but alleyway down below.

“Ok, so… no catwalk.” Ezra looked just as baffled as he was.

“We’ll have to go back.” Kanan was inwardly cursing, trying to think of ways to get both of them and the crates past the guards who’d now had plenty of time to blockade the exits.

“Or we could jump it,” Ezra suggested, unlinking the crates from each other. “The hoverpads mean these things can be flung pretty far, even across a gap like this. You take one, I take the other, and we jump.”

“Are you crazy? There’s no way you can make a jump like that. It’s impossible.” Kanan hissed.

“I can do it, just trust me.” Ezra adjusted the hoverpad on his crate to maximum and before Kanan could stop him he was making a short run and then flinging himself across the distance between roofs.

Kanan didn’t even have time to react. Even if he’d been ready he wasn’t sure if he could have caught Ezra with his mind, the fall off the building was long enough to be incredibly dangerous if not deadly, but not long enough to give him time to even start to move.

And then Ezra landed on the other roof, stumbling, face smacking forward into the crate in a way that would have made Kanan wince if he hadn’t still be frozen in disbelief, but it was a landing.

Ezra shouldn’t have been able to do that.

No normal human should be able to do that.

Kanan couldn’t do anything but adjust his crate the same way and take the same short run, pushing off from the edge with both muscles and the Force. The same way Ezra had to have jumped.

Kanan landed a great deal more gracefully, dialing the hoverpad back down to avoid blurting out anything stupid.   
  
“I told you I could do it. Come on, there’s a fire escape down on the side away from the party.” Ezra pushed the crate to the other side of the roof like he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary.

Did he even know he’d done anything he shouldn’t have been able to? Kanan had a sinking feeling that Ezra had no clue, and he didn’t have the faintest idea what he was going to do about it.


	4. Chapter 4

The escape on the bikes was almost anti-climactic after the rush to get the crates safely out of the warehouse. They were shot at, of course, but they didn’t give any of the stormtroopers time to get bikes of their own and all the troopers could do was fire wildly as they zipped away.

Ezra felt near-drunk on adrenaline. They’d done it, they’d really done it. Two crates full of blasters acquired, the Imperials humiliated, and all almost without a scratch. Even when some of the excitement wore off and his cheek started to ache where he’d smacked it into the crate it couldn’t dim his enthusiasm. Sure it would have been more impressive if he hadn’t flubbed the landing, but he made it, he didn’t screw up, and they were going to be rich.

Kanan was oddly quiet as they loaded the crates and bikes up into the hold of the ship, but Ezra figured it was just his way of coming down after the excitement. It wasn’t until everything was stowed that Kanan spoke up.

“You knew you’d be able to make that jump?” Kanan asked, sounding hesitant.

“Well yeah, I mean most of the rooftops in the city are closer than that and I don’t usually have so much cargo, but I’ve done it before,” Ezra said proudly, reaching up to rub his cheek and then stopping when the touch made the ache flare. “I wasn’t just trying to show off or be reckless if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.” Kanan said solemnly, which did nothing to help alleviate Ezra confusion at his reaction.

“What, why? We did it. We didn’t get hurt. Why so glum?” Ezra asked, not understanding why Kanan looked like something had gone terribly wrong.

“You got hurt a little,” Kanan pointed out. “Want an ice pack for it?”

“This? This is nothing. I’ve gotten worse falling out of bed. Uh, wouldn’t turn down the ice pack though,” Ezra admitted.

Kanan got up, vanishing back into the ship and then coming back to the hold with a frozen gel pack. Ezra took it gratefully, pressing it gingerly to his cheek. He hissed under his breath at the sudden cold, then relaxed when it started to numb the ache.

“I’m not worried about the bruise. I’m… ok. How do I put this? Do you ever get weird feelings about stuff? Like you know things other people don’t? Maybe you’re a little luckier at some things than others are, learning new things comes easy to you?” Kanan asked awkwardly, and Ezra blinked.

“Yeah, but I mean, that’s normal, right? I’m not stupid,” Ezra said defensively, and Kanan held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.

“I wasn’t trying to say you were stupid. I mean things like… knowing something bad’s about to happen before it happens. Or knowing someone’s bad news and not knowing why,” Kanan tried to elaborate.

Ezra rubbed the back of his head awkwardly with his free hand. “Now that you mention it, I mean yeah. I have good intuition. You kind of have to if you want to survive. But I do get weird feelings sometimes. Like about you.”

“You had a bad feeling about me?” Kanan sounded shocked, looking faintly guilty.

“No, not a bad feeling,” Ezra hastened to explain. “Just a weird feeling, like I knew you from somewhere or something unusual was about to happen. I can’t even describe it. Anticipation maybe?” Ezra crooked up the corner of his mouth in a half grin. “If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have tried to pick your pocket. You didn’t look like an easy mark, but if you were important...”

“And I knew you were reaching for my pocket before you ever touched me,” Kanan pointed out.

“That was kinda odd. Wait, are you trying to say you had a weird feeling someone was going to pick your pocket?” Ezra asked, curious.

“Something like that. What do you know about the Force?” Kanan asked.

“I know it was something the Jedi could use to do amazing things.” Ezra said.

“And what do you know about the Jedi?” Kanan pressed.

“The official information in the Imperial schools was just a footnote taking about dangerous cults. Charlatans who claimed their religion could work miracles. Growing up though, I heard… people said they were real but that they must have died in the war,” Ezra said, not entirely sure where the conversation was going.

“Not all of them did. A few escaped, went into hiding. I don’t know how many still live, if they were caught or died some other way.” Kanan spoke in the flat tone Ezra recognized, the way someone sounded when they were trying hard not to remember something painful.

“You sound like you were there.” Ezra tried his best to keep his words gentle, not wanting Kanan to clam up.

“I was. Come with me, I want to see something.” Kanan abruptly started back into the ship and Ezra scrambled to follow.

Kanan opened up a door and motioned for Ezra to go inside. It was a fairly stark sleeping area, double bunk up against the wall and a little storage and nothing more. It didn’t look at all out of the ordinary, but something put the hairs on the back of his neck up. Without thinking about it he went over to the bottom bed, sitting and reaching down to feel for a hidden catch. A compartment slid out easily and Ezra automatically grabbed at the metal cylinder. A faint echo of the same jolt he’d felt before tingled its way up his arm and he held the hilt up, fingers automatically trying to find a comfortable grip.

“Easy, don’t turn it on. Not inside the ship. I’d rather not have to explain any weird scorch marks,” Kanan spoke up. Ezra flushed a little, not even realizing his fingers had found what was probably the power switch.

“Sorry about that. What… is this a lightsaber? It felt like it was calling me, I know that sounds fake, but...” Ezra offered it to him and Kanan stepped forward to take it.

“It does sound fake, which is why you need to be very careful saying stuff like that around anyone but me. Understand? The Empire wants all the Jedi dead,” Kanan spoke so seriously that Ezra shivered.

“But I’m not a Jedi,” Ezra pointed out.

“You could be. And if I had to bet, that’s close enough.”

 

* * *

 

“What are we going to do?” Ezra finally prompted, as Kanan quietly put the lightsaber back away in its hidden compartment.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to decide. What I’m willing to do, what you’re wanting to do, there’s not an easy answer,” Kanan said quietly. “I’m not sure I want to teach someone, for one thing.”

“Yeah.” Ezra wasn’t expecting a small pang at the words. He wasn’t under any illusions this wasn’t anything other than a temporary partnership, and if Kanan didn’t screw him over it would be better than most of the times he’d tried working with others. There wasn’t a whole lot to encourage loyalty in this kind of work.

“And who knows, maybe if there was a reason we were encouraged to meet. If. It was just to warn you to keep your head down and try to tell you how,” Kanan warned.

“Maybe, but look. I know there’s not any promises between us, ok? You could fly out of here tomorrow and that’d be it. Vizago would probably call me an idiot who can’t learn not to fall for a flashy story and yeah, it would suck. I’m not some kid you can dazzle with fairytales, but… but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious,” Ezra admitted. “And it’s not like I don’t know what the Empire does to people.”

Kanan took a deep breath, looking like he finally had an answer. “Then I’ll try and teach you the basics, you can decide for yourself what you end up doing with the knowledge. I do know there’s a difference between living like you are now, and living when you know you’re actively being hunted, and that’s why I’ve been keeping my head down.”

“I know, and I’ll take your word for it.” Ezra tried not to let it show how much he wanted to know. He wasn’t planning to do anything foolish, but he’d grown up with hearing about the Jedi. He’d seen footage once, banned and officially considered holo trickery and propaganda, of a wartime news cast, of a figure in brown robes with a near blindingly bright laser sword taking on an entire battalion of what looked like some sort of droid. The Jedi had cut effortlessly through them, untouchable. He also knew if they were really that powerful, whatever the Empire had used to kill them all must have been much worse.

“It’s not going to be easy, before… before people would spend their entire lives learning, and we still have work to do.” Kanan glanced towards the hold.

“The weapons for Vizago. What are you going to do with all those credits anyway? Your part of them at least” Ezra pounced on the topic change, not wanting Kanan to potentially talk himself out of deciding to help.

“Food and fuel,” Kanan said simply.

“That’s it?” Ezra was a little incredulous.

“Annoying fact of life, the more stuff you have to earn credits, like a nice ship like this, the more credits it takes to keep them running.” Kanan motioned at the ship around him. “A job like the one we just did gives me a nice cushion, but it’s not going to last that long.”

“As long as I didn’t have an emergency, three thousand credits would last me a long time.” Ezra wasn’t even sure what he’d spend that many credits on. Maybe new clothing, his jumpsuit was getting worn out but as long as it was still covering him it wasn’t on a high priority.

“I’ll bet.” Kanan was quiet a moment, then sighed. “It’s late. Well, early. You want a lift back to wherever you’re staying, or want to bunk here and get some sleep?”

Ezra glanced at the top bunk, making up his mind. “I’ll stay here.” He didn’t think Kanan would just take off now that he had the guns, but the possibility and the exhaustion creeping up now that the heist was done and the tenseness of the conversation before was over decided him.

“Then you can take the top bunk.” Kanan started unbuckling his armor. “Going to need another ice pack for your face?”

“Nah, it feels fine now. Thanks for before. “ Ezra watched for just a moment and then bent down to get his own boots off before he climbed up to the top bunk, searching for and finding a blanket folded up and stored with the bunk. It wasn’t exactly luxurious, but it was a great deal better than padding over crates and he unfastened his few hard armor pieces to tuck nearby as he settled in.

“Ready for the lights off?” Kanan asked.

“Go for it.” Ezra closed his eyes, but even as tired as he was from staying up until dawn and narrowly escaping a firefight with the Imperials sleep didn’t come easily. Kanan was a Jedi. He hadn’t come right out and said it, but the implication was clear. It was hard to reconcile the image of the scruffy part time criminal with the near mythical figure in the holo, though he supposed if he was a Jedi on the run he wouldn’t try to look like a Jedi either. Trying to put himself in that place didn’t work any better, he was no hero. He liked disrupting things for the Empire when he could, making it a little easier for the citizens of Lothal, but he was under no illusions that anything he did actually made much of a difference.

Maybe though, maybe if he could do more. Could he save people? Or would he just end up like his parents, getting himself killed? Even though the questions had no good answer they stubbornly refused to leave his mind and Ezra spent a long time laying in the dark, listening to Kanan’s steady breathing below. Those were all even assuming Kanan was telling the truth and didn’t change his mind about teaching him. It was awfully convenient he’d shown up, but maybe that was how things like this worked. He wanted to believe, but it had been a very long time since hope had brought him anything but disappointment. Still though, that stubborn part of him refused to give up that maybe, just maybe, things might get better. Eventually exhaustion caught up with him and Ezra slept.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: The official canon statement from the Empire is that the Jedi never existed and it was a big galaxy so the likelihood of anyone actually meeting a Jedi was very low so there would be no reason to doubt that they were a myth. However, that didn’t make sense to me as news holos are a thing and plenty of people would have seen Jedi fighting during the Clone Wars. So I’m changing a bit that most information on them is banned and the official statement is that the Jedi were a Republic hoax, rumors of their deeds were all wartime propaganda and trickery.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning - This chapter has depictions of nausea, but no throwing up.

Kanan watched Ezra going through the practice katas, occasionally calling out corrections. He’d landed the ship far from any structures out in the grass plains to give them room to practice without the risk of anyone spotting them. The only living things for miles to see them were loth-cats and loth-rats and none of them would know or care what a couple of humans were up to. Ezra was improving bit by bit, even if the pace was slow enough to frustrate them both. If Ezra had been raised in the temple he would have been going through bladeless practice katas and exercises designed to strengthen the muscles he’d need pretty much as soon as he was walking, though they would have been games at first. Ezra was fit, but the controlled motions for using a sword were alien to him. He’d get the stance right, but the slightest distraction and it would fall apart and he’d just be swinging wildly.

Right now working on lightsaber technique, while not exactly the sort of thing that was useful for hiding, was at least something he remembered well and could teach with a minimum of frustration for them both. While Ezra was used to instinctively using the Force to enhance his own natural abilities, trying to get him to do it consciously had so far been a failure. Kanan didn’t know if he wasn’t pushing hard enough, or if he kept going with failure after failure he’d just convince Ezra that he couldn’t do it. Doing katas was at least something for now, even if it was little enough.

Kanan didn’t realize he’d been zoning out, lost in thought until he suddenly took note that it had been long enough Ezra had paused, watching him.

“Ready for a water break?” Kanan tried to shake off the mental fog that had been plaguing him most of the day. He blamed it on a rough night’s sleep, he wasn’t a youngling anymore to stay up all night and be perfectly perky with half a cup of caf in his system, as much as he hated to admit it.

“Yeah, I could use a break,” Ezra called over, turning off the blade and clipping the lightsaber hilt to his belt as he walked over. “Something up? You’re not telling me I suck as much as usual.”

“Just tired.” Kanan rubbed over his face, not even really up for a snappy comeback. He’d probably think of something clever in a few minutes, when it was far too late.

“You look it, and you’re just standing there. Want to go back inside?” Ezra asked

“No, I can handle this. I...” Kanan tried to shake off the odd feeling, straightening up and taking a deep breath as he started to stretch. And then the whole world tilted, spinning and he stumbled, trying to keep his footing. His first thought was an earthquake, and then Ezra’s arm was around his waist trying to steady him. If the whole world was moving out from under him, wouldn’t Ezra have been equally caught off guard?

“Whoa, ok, let’s sit down.” Ezra sounded worried and Kanan didn’t sit down so much as collapse on the empty crate they had outside as a seat. Kanan braced his elbows on his thighs, leaning forward and taking slow breaths.

“Everything started spinning,” Kanan said hesitantly after things steadied just a little. He still didn’t trust himself to move too much.

“Ok, um. Huh. I’d say heatstroke but it’s not that hot. I’ll get you some water anyway.” Ezra stepped away and Kanan saw a water pouch appear in front of him a few moments later. He thought about refusing, saying that he wasn’t thirsty, and then he thought better of it. He drank the entire pouch slowly, even if with the lingering dizzy feeling it sloshed unpleasantly in his stomach.

“Thanks.” Kanan slowly looked up, glad when the spinning didn’t come back.

“I think we’re done for today,” Ezra said, trying to sound light. “I mean, not just being lazy. We can come back to this later if you’re up for it. There’s still hours of daylight left.”

“Yeah, alright. Maybe laying down will help and then we can keep going,” Kanan said reluctantly.

“Good idea.” Ezra wrapped his arm around his waist again and Kanan leaned on him as he got back on his feet. Everything seemed a little unsteady even if the world seemed to mostly stay in place. He braced against Ezra more than he would have liked, but they made it back inside the ship and Kanan sank down onto the padded bunk biting back a groan. Laying flat everything steadied some, but he still didn’t feel great. He closed his eyes, telling himself firmly that nothing was moving. He was flat on the bunk, the ship was landed, nothing was rocking or swaying, and he just needed to wait this out. He didn’t even hear Ezra leave the room.

 

* * *

 

Kanan woke up disoriented, unsure what time it was or why he was sleeping in his clothes. He sat up, and then gripped the side of his bunk hard enough to turn his knuckles white when the room spun.

“Easy, how do you feel?” Ezra spoke up from somewhere in the room, but Kanan didn’t want to turn and look just yet.

“Like crap,” Kanan gritted out.

“I was afraid of that. Here.” Ezra slid onto the bunk beside him, wrapping an arm around him and supporting him. Kanan gratefully leaned into the support as the world stopped tilting quite so precariously, and then he noticed the thermometer Ezra was holding up.

“Still thinking it’s heat stroke?” Kanan asked, opening his mouth for the thermometer.

“No, I think you might be sick. Don’t talk until it beeps, ok?” Ezra warned him before continuing. “There’s a couple illnesses on Lothal that can cause really bad vertigo, and I think you may have caught one.”

Kanan wanted to ask how bad that was, but he couldn’t say anything until the thermometer finally beeped and Ezra slid it out of his mouth.

“You’re not running a fever,” Ezra said, sounding relieved.

“That mean I’m not sick?” Kanan asked, not sure if he should sound hopeful or not. If he wasn’t sick, something was still making him feel awful.

“No, of the two the one that comes with a fever is a lot worse. That one lasts for weeks. The one without a fever sucks, but the worst of the vertigo will be over by tomorrow afternoon, day after that tops.” Ezra explained, cleaning the thermometer and putting it back in the first aid kit.

“So it could be worse, but it’s still going to suck.” Kanan sighed, bringing a hand up to rub over his face.

“Best thing to do is just stay sitting or laying down as much as you can. Try to move around too much and you’ll just get seasick.” Ezra reached out to rub over his shoulder, offering support.

“I can’t just lay around all day,” Kanan protested, even as his body seemed to think that was a pretty good idea, all things considered. He wasn’t sure how long he’d slept, he suspected it may have been for a while but he didn’t feel like he’d rested.

“You need to, just let me take care of everything? I can fix food or get you whatever you need. You can trust me.” Ezra insisted, gently easing Kanan back down onto the pillow.

“Whatever I need?” Kanan arched an eyebrow, not sure if Ezra was thinking through all the possible consequences of that offer.

“Yeah, I mean if you’re asking for ridiculous stuff I’m not going to be able to do it. But if you’re talking about stuff like dragging you to the ‘fresher I’m not squeamish,” Ezra said confidently.

“You convinced me, I’ll stay in bed and let you handle things, I promise,” Kanan agreed reluctantly. Surely he would be able to manage a quick trip to the ‘fresher without needing someone to babysit him.

“I won’t let you down.” Ezra smiled at him and Kanan wished he had that level of confidence in the situation.

 

* * *

 

Kanan gritted his teeth, slowly feeling out another unsteady step forward. He’d napped a little, and then woken up to find Ezra gone and the com unit within easy reach. The implication was clear, if he needed anything he could contact him. He didn’t actually need anything aside from the fact he was bored and not quiet ready to go back to sleep, and at the time trying to see how much he could manage on his own had seemed like a good idea.

Now he wasn’t so sure. Just standing up left him feeling dizzy and weak, and walking was worse. He couldn’t tell when the world would suddenly pitch and roll like the ship was bucking around with the stabilizers out. Kanan didn’t think he was prone to getting motion sick, but the constant feeling of movement was starting to make his stomach roll unpleasantly. He swallowed, determined not to give in to the persistent nausea, not that there was much to come up but the water from before.

Kanan slid forward another careful step, and then he had to stop and brace against the wall as another wave of vertigo hit. Even if he knew he wasn’t moving, his senses were convinced and it was hard to stay still and not try to sway with the movement he was sure he felt.

“Kanan?” Ezra’s voice was startled and Kanan tried to plaster a more relaxed expression on his face so he didn’t look so weak. What kind of Jedi Master would he be, not even able to make it down the hall on his own?

“Yeah?” Kanan straightened up some, looking at him, not expecting the confused and even hurt expression on Ezra’s face.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” Ezra asked and Kanan bristled at the accusatory tone.

“I didn’t want to stay laying around in bed all day, so I got up. No big deal.” Kanan started to wave a hand dismissively and then clutched harder at the wall when that was a very bad idea.

“But you said you wouldn’t. You said you trusted me and you’d let me take care of everything,” Ezra insisted

“I say a lot of things?” Kanan didn’t really want to deal with this now. His head was spinning and he felt awful and he just needed Ezra to back off a little so he could figure things out.

“I guess you do.” Ezra’s voice was icy at that and he turned, walking out without another word.

Kanan just stared after him, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

 

* * *

 

Kanan eventually slid down to lean back against the wall, resting the back of his head against it as he slumped. He kept expecting Ezra to come back, but it seemed like the young man had left the ship entirely. For a while it just pissed him off. It was a ridiculous thing to get upset about. Kanan hadn’t done anything at all, he’d just gotten out of bed. It wasn’t a big deal and eventually Ezra would realize that.

Except…

Except Ezra wasn’t coming back. Stubbornly Kanan regarded the twenty or so feet he had left to get to the galley. He wasn’t hungry, but that had been his goal. If he couldn’t walk it, he could crawl it. He wasn’t helpless, he’d get himself to the galley and...

Then what? He’d be dizzy and sick and alone in the galley instead of the hallway. Kanan groaned, dropping his head into his hands. Why was he even doing this? If he’d stayed in bed he could have asked Ezra to bring him something for entertainment, or asked for his help to try and move, or even have talked with him about something like his training.

Thinking of his training brought a sudden fresh surge of guilt and he finally placed it. Kanan was an idiot. Ezra was putting a lot of trust in him for all of this and as much as Kanan doubted himself he needed Ezra to trust him and to trust in the Force. If Ezra couldn’t even trust him to stay in bed when he said he would, how was he going to trust him with anything more important? He’d flippantly agreed to stay in bed as easily as he’d agreed to help Ezra learn the ways of the Force. No wonder he wasn’t making much progress.

His own teachers had been mysterious and wanted him to work things out on his own, but he’d had an entire Temple to do so. There were records and holos and other teachers and peers to turn to, he was all Ezra had. He hadn’t even told him about the holocron. He’d been trying to remember how he learned things, without ever thinking about the fact that Ezra was in an entirely different situation. Ezra hadn’t grown up surrounded by Knights and Masters and Padawans and Younglings and his only doubts being if he’d be able to live up to the legacy of so many before him.

Kanan had a lot to think about, to reassess. That was, he had a lot to think about if Ezra came back. Somewhere in the back of his mind he’d been expecting that Ezra would trust him unquestioningly the same way he’d trusted his own teachers, the way he’d trusted his own Master. The way that even though they only had a short time together, it still hurt even now to think of Master Billaba’s death because even knowing she was mortal he’d believed her to be so much more than that. She only had to be herself to have his total respect and faith in her.

He couldn’t be that to Ezra. Whatever they could have together would have to be earned, if it could be earned. Would it be better to be honest with him? Or was the last thing Ezra needed was to know exactly how unprepared Kanan was?

Kanan was just gathering himself to attempt to walk back to bed when he heard footsteps. He tensed, it was probably Ezra, but if the hatch had been left open and someone came to investigate he could be in trouble. He wasn’t sure what he’d do, but thankfully his half-imagines scenarios evaporated when Ezra came into view.

“You came back.” Kanan didn’t even try to keep the relief out of his voice.

“Yeah. I figured even if I was angry it would be pretty awful of me to leave you on the floor.” Ezra crouched down with him. “Also went and got something to help with the seasickness. Give me your hands?”

“What is it?” Kanan asked, offering him both his hands and trying to be more trusting.

“There’s pressure points in your wrists that help with seasickness somehow,” Ezra spoke distractedly, flexing Kanan’s wrist and then feeling down the inside hollow with his fingertips before pressing part of a strap against it, wrapping the slightly stretchy band around the rest of his wrist before repeating the process with his other hand.

“You were angry with me and you still went and got something to help?” Kanan was surprised.

Ezra shrugged a little, “It wasn’t like just sulking would help anything. And this way if you keep being stupid you shouldn’t puke on yourself.”

“I’m not going to, and I’m sorry. You were right, I promised you I was going to stay put and I didn’t. And the only reason I didn’t was because I was being stubborn and proud. I’m sorry.” Kanan hoped that was enough explanation without crossing over into trying to make excuses for himself.

“Huh,” Ezra sounded surprised. “Ok, just… tell me if you change your mind about things? I know situations change, but I need to know if you’re going to say one thing and do another. You want some help getting back to bed?”

“I will, and I could use the help. Thank you.” Kanan gratefully took the support as Ezra helped haul him to his feet. Ezra had to brace hard when the sudden movement made everything buck and spin unpleasantly and Kanan lost his footing. Ezra stayed steady, holding him up until everything stabilized enough for Kanan to get his feet back under him.

The walk back to his bunk was more far more unpleasant than the first time. Kanan ended up just closing his eyes and clinging helplessly to Ezra, following the murmured soft encouragement when he wanted to give up and just hold tight to the floor until it stopped moving. The only bright spot in the whole ordeal was that the bands around his wrists worked as well as Ezra said they would and even though everything tilted and whirled around him his stomach stayed steady.

Finally just when Kanan was sure he wasn’t going to be able to keep going, they stopped.

“The bunk’s right here, I’ve got you, just relax, I won’t let you fall.” Ezra kept up the steady stream of soothing talk as he eased Kanan down onto the padded bunk. Kanan gripped at the sides once Ezra let him go, even knowing it wouldn’t do anything to ease the vertigo any sooner.

“That was… not the brightest move I’ve ever made,” Kanan finally gritted out.

“I wouldn’t know,” Ezra said lightly.

“I’ll tell you about them, eventually. Probably,” Kanan said sheepishly.

“You better,” Ezra spoke lightly, sitting down on the edge of the bunk.

“We’ll see.” Kanan smiled, then sobered as he made a decision. “I did have a lot of time to think while I was stuck on the floor, and I wanted to talk with you about it. I keep thinking you’re like I was when my own Master took me on as a student, and you’re not. You’re your own person, you don’t have over a decade of basic training behind you, you don’t even have the same background. That’s not a bad thing, it just means I’ve been trying to treat you like I was and it’s not working.”

“So you’re going to give up?” Ezra quirked the edge of his lips up in something a little too resigned to be a smile. “I kind of thought you might.”

“What? No.” Kanan was startled, and felt a fresh wave of guilt. Things had been worse than he expected if Ezra was just waiting for him to quit. And maybe… maybe Ezra hadn’t been entirely wrong to wonder, if he could have found an out he could have honorably taken he would have taken it in a heartbeat.

“What are you saying then?” Ezra asked, looking confused.

“I mean I’m admitting that I messed up some and I want to do better, for both of us,” Kanan spoke with certainty this time, feeling like he was on the right track. “The compartment under the bunk I had my lightsaber in? There’s another one beside it. Think you could open it up?” The compartment was just as hidden, but Kanan had no doubts Ezra would be able to get into it just as easily as he had the first one.

Ezra leaned over to feel along the side of the bunk and Kanan stayed put, not wanting to risk losing the progress he’d made laying still and letting himself recover from the walk.

“It’s got a weird cube thing in it, want me to take it out?” Ezra asked.

“I do. That weird cube thing is called a holocron. The Jedi used it to store information.” Kanan held out a hand for it, and Ezra carefully set the cube down into his hand.

“What kind of information?” Ezra asked.

“Hopefully information that will come in handy for us. I was given this when I was a student myself.” Kanan felt a pang at the memory and touching over the sides he felt a reluctance clouding his mind. Don’t talk about those things, don’t think about those things, keep it secret, keep it safe. If anyone finds out about his past he and everyone else could be killed or worse. He finally faced that reluctance for what it was, fear. Caution was one thing, caution was important to have. But when had he let that caution grow and twist into something that limited him rather than protecting him? Kanan wasn’t entirely sure, but he ruthlessly pushed past it for the moment. With a soft glow the holocron rose out of his hand, starting to open.

Ezra watched with an open look of surprise and with a start Kanan realized that he hadn’t actually demonstrated anything. He’d talked him through things, he’d shown him the stances, but it was no surprise that Ezra had doubts. There was no use dwelling on the mistake though, except to correct it going forward.

“You reach out to the holocron with your mind, and you focus on what you want it to show you,” Kanan explained, focusing on the kata Ezra had been doing before. The light coming out of the holocron solidified, forming an instructor. It wasn’t anyone Kanan recognized, which was a blessing of sorts, but he was sure her identity was stored somewhere in the cube. She stated the name of the kata and then moved into the first stance, naming it and starting to explain it in far more detail than Kanan had been able to remember. After a minute though Kanan’s focus started to waver, and the image with it, and rather than fight he let the holocron close itself up and settle back into his hand.

“Whoa,” Ezra whispered, watching as the cube resettled, bright blue eyes wide with amazement, then they narrowed in puzzlement. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” Ezra asked.

“Because I didn’t really think of it,” Kanan admitted with a wince, setting the cube down and reaching up to rub his forehead out of embarassment. “I haven’t opened it in years, I’ve just been keeping it away from the Empire.”

“You really didn’t think through this whole volunteering to teach thing, did you?” Ezra smiled for real this time, reaching to take Kanan’s hand and squeeze it. “Look, it’s ok. I think I’d rather know you can screw this up too so we can figure things out together.”

Kanan breathed out a sigh he didn’t realize he was holding, squeezing Ezra’s hand back. “I didn’t want you to doubt… well, everything. Using the Force requires belief. If you doubt you can do something, you can make those doubts a reality.”

“So if I didn’t think you’d be able to teach me then yeah. I think though… I think it’s a little easier to believe that you’re doing your best and figuring things out than to try to believe you’re some kind of legendary hero who showed up out of the blue to mentor me,” Ezra said with amusement and more confidence than Kanan expected.

“I’m no hero, legendary or otherwise,” Kanan admitted.

“That’s fine. I’m not either.” Ezra gave his hand one more squeeze and then set it back down on the bunk.

Kanan wasn’t sure why the easy declaration made him a little sad. Maybe because he’d wanted to be a hero for so long before everything had happened. Had any one thing in particular made Ezra reject the idea, or was it just the reality of life after the Empire’s rise not leaving any space for heroes anymore? He should be grateful though, he wanted to teach Ezra how to stay alive and avoiding heroics was at least a decent start.

“I don’t know how much I’ll be able to teach you like this, I couldn’t even keep the holocron open and steady, but I’ll do my best. Eventually it has to stop feeling like I’m being tossed around in a wind storm, right?” Kanan asked optimistically.

“Right, until then I’ll take care of you. Do you need anything right now?” Ezra asked.

“Could you hand me the blanket?” Kanan could have tried to sit up and grab it to pull it up, but he would have risked setting off another vertigo attack. Laying for so long on the metal floor had left him a little chilled.

“Sure thing.” Ezra reached to get the blanket, shaking it out and draping it over Kanan. “Is this enough? Your hand felt pretty cold before.”

“I think I’ll warm up like this just fine, thanks.” Kanan smiled at him, glad that he actually felt like smiling. Suddenly the path he’d picked out didn’t seem quite so impossible. He’d teach Ezra to get his Force abilities under conscious control and they’d go from there. They could do this and investigate the Empire’s plans for Lothal, he was sure of it.


	6. Chapter 6

Ezra sneaked glances at Kanan’s face between staring at the warehouse layout without really seeing it. He’d long since memorized the compound, along with an accurate assessment of if standard features like catwalks were actually there or not. Kanan had recovered well from his vertigo and things had settled into a new normal. They’d done a few small jobs for Vizago, just standing guard during some of his business transactions. They were the sort of thing Kanan could have easily done on his own, but Ezra wasn’t going to object to being included.

“I think we’ve gone over about every possible plan, including what to do if there’s any traps or the alarms go off again, but I do have a question,” Ezra finally spoke up.

“What’s that?” Kanan looked up at the question, meeting Ezra’s eyes.

“You never said why we were breaking in when we don’t have a job lined up and might not even be taking anything,” Ezra pointed out.

Kanan paused for a beat. “I was wondering if you’d catch that.” Kanan grinned and Ezra resisted the urge to roll his eyes, suspecting that Kanan had simply forgotten.

“Going to let me in on it then?” Ezra asked.

“Ok, so the shipment roster is that this shipment is a load of junk, all basic stuff and nothing worth stealing,” Kanan started, and Ezra nodded.

“I got that much.” Ezra said.

“But the ship that’s supposed to be arriving is a Star Destroyer, not a usual cargo ship. Now that could mean a lot of things, true, but one of those is that the cargo is deliberately mislabeled to discourage theft. If that’s the case, there could be some good stuff in there,” Kanan explained.

“And if not, it means we could get thrown in jail for attempted theft of a crate of socks,” Ezra pointed out.

“So we don’t get caught,” Kanan said confidently.

Ezra was amused at the easy confidence Kanan had in this. After seeing him try to fake it in training the difference was obvious, and Ezra was glad he’d stopped trying to pretend. The only painful part was when his mind decided to chime in and remind him that this partnership was only temporary, that when Kanan decided he was done with Lothal he’d go and Ezra would be left alone again to make a fresh start somewhere new. It was too easy to lie to himself that this was going to keep going indefinitely and try to forget the inevitable.

“It seems like I should be able to find some big flaws in that plan, but I like it too much.” Ezra teased, rewarded with another of Kanan’s easy grins.

“Tomorrow night then, until then do you want to work on anything else?” Kanan shut off the hologram and Ezra regarded where it had been contemplatively.

“I want to, but I should be getting back soon. And after going over everything I’m not sure how much concentrating I could manage,” Ezra said reluctantly. Even with Kanan being honest now and using the holocron regularly for advice and instruction things were still going slowly. Kanan didn’t seem too worried at the slow pace, but Ezra couldn’t help but think he’d be frustrated in his place. He was used to things coming to him fairly naturally and sometimes he worried that it was a sign he wasn’t ever cut out to be any good at this. It didn’t seem fair. If he was at greater risk from the Empire for having a hidden talent, at least he should be able to know he could use said talent if he needed to.

“We can skip it then, just be sure to listen to me when we’re on the job. If I tell you not to do something, don’t do it,” Kanan warned, and Ezra did roll his eyes.

“No, I was planning to entirely ignore you and fling myself right at the blasters. Don’t worry so much,” Ezra joked.

“This is serious, I’ve been teaching you so you could stay safe, not put yourself in greater danger.” Kanan sounded so serious that Ezra felt a little guilty for teasing.

“I’ve been looking out for myself most of my life, I may not have known what I was doing was risky before, but I do now. I haven’t managed to stay alive all these years by taking stupid risks,” Ezra assured him.

Kanan arched one eyebrow and Ezra snorted, grinning a little. “Ok, fine, by _knowingly_  taking stupid risks. Is that a little better?” Ezra asked.

“It’s a little better.” Kanan smiled at that, and Ezra felt his heart flip a little and he had to glance away. It really wasn’t fair. Kanan was handsome, nice to be around, and made him happier than he’d been in a long time. But he couldn’t really afford to go getting attached, it would just make it that much harder when he was on his own again.

“I should probably get going,” Ezra said with reluctance. He knew if he asked Kanan would almost certainly let him stay and take the other bed. He’d stayed when Kanan was sick, not wanting him to be alone and helpless. Kanan did honestly seem to be trying to make up for the fight they’d had during that. He still wasn’t sure why he’d reacted so strongly, it wasn’t like Kanan was the first to lie to him about something. It hadn’t even been that big of a lie, maybe it was just that he hadn’t been able to tell. Usually he could get a feel for if someone was lying or not, but he either hadn’t felt it or he’d let himself get blinded by the fact he wanted to trust him so badly. At least Kanan did seem to be trying not to repeat his mistakes, as best Ezra could tell. He might say he didn’t have an answer or deflect the question, but he didn’t seem to be lying.

“Good idea, it’ll be getting dark soon. Try to be back here by mid to late afternoon? In case there’s anything else I’ve forgotten,” Kanan said warmly.

“I will,” Ezra smiled back at him and got up, heading to the hold to grab his bike. Kanan had offered to fly him closer, but he didn’t want anyone wondering why a ship kept going out to the old abandoned communications tower. The bike was small and low enough not to show up on sensors. He walked the bike out of the hold, glancing back briefly and then kicking it to life, starting his long solo ride back to his tower.

 

* * *

 

Ezra arrived back at The Escape a little earlier than he’d intended, but it wasn’t like there was much to do around his tower. Unless something broke there wasn’t much in the way of upkeep to do, for which he was usually grateful. Now though it meant the hours stretched out as he paced restlessly or threw himself on his crate-bed to stare at the ceiling in an attempt to rest for the long night ahead.

He pulled up at the ship to find the main hold already open. Kanan had his own bike near the entrance where there was plenty of light, sitting beside it with tools scattered around. He raised up a hand to wave.

“Everything ok?” Ezra asked, not sure if that was a bad sign.

“Just fine. It was running a little noisy earlier so I figured it was a good time to clean things up a bit before tonight. I’m almost done.” Kanan started fitting one of the panels back on.

Ezra nodded, just hanging back to watch. Kanan looked so serious when he was focusing on a mechanical job, but relaxed at the same time. He wondered if he was doing it as much to settle pre-job jitters as because the bike really needed it. “Anything we need to get done before tonight?”

“I can’t think of anything,” Kanan said after a moment. “We get in quiet, see what’s in the shipment, maybe grab something if it looks valuable. Just keep your eye out for anything that’s out of the ordinary.”

“I can do that.” Ezra stepped in to help gather up the tools when Kanan got the last piece fitted back and started standing up. Kanan took the offered tools gratefully, turning the bike on briefly to listen and then cutting the engine.

“I know you can.” Kanan turned one of those bright smiles on him and Ezra felt that annoying flutter again, barely keeping himself from grinning back like an idiot.

“What did you want to do for the next few hours then?” Ezra asked, turning away to walk his bike inside the hold beside Kanan’s.

“Probably meditate for a while to rest up, and then eat something before we head out.” Kanan put the tools away, dusting his hands off. “You should join me, you could use the meditation time.”

“Sounds fun, hours of sitting around while my legs go to sleep trying to think about nothing,” Ezra tried to say it playfully, but it came out a little more disappointed than he intended.

“Once you get the hang of it, it won’t just be sitting around thinking about nothing. It’ll be… It’s… it’s hard to explain,” Kanan said, sounding frustrating.

“I’m not failing at this on purpose, you know I am,” Ezra spoke up, trying not to get defensive. As soon as he started feeling confident something had to come up to remind him how he was struggling with the whole Jedi thing.

“I know. And a little more practice won’t hurt. Come on.” Kanan motioned back to his room, closing the hatch behind him and Ezra followed, trying not to be apprehensive. The worst that could happen was nothing, right?

Kanan knelt down once he was inside the room, looking far too comfortable on the hard floor, and after half a beat Ezra followed him, feeling a great deal less graceful. There hadn’t been much in the holocron on beginner meditation, other than saying it was a skill best learned with an instructor in person, though there was plenty on incorporating it during more advanced lessons.

Ezra took a slow breath, trying to release some of his tension. Sit, stay quiet, eyes closed, tune out distractions, try to think of nothing and simply be. Which was easy to say and blasted hard to actually do. The floor was cold under his legs, and hard where his padded armor pieces didn’t protect him. He wasn’t worried, exactly, about the upcoming infiltration, but there was still a sort of nervous energy that refused to listen to his head that they still had hours before they needed to act. He could hear Kanan’s steady breathing and not for the first time he wondered if Kanan was wrong about this whole Jedi thing. If he couldn’t even manage something like this…

“You need to relax,” Kanan spoke up after what felt like a small eternity crawled by but was probably only a few minutes.

“If I get any more relaxed I’m going to fall over,” Ezra grumbled. “Why is this so hard?” He opened his eyes, looking at Kanan.

“I don’t know. I mean I’ve got a few theories, but I can’t be sure,” Kanan opened his eyes, blinking slowly.

“Tell them to me anyway?” Ezra asked. “Even a bad theory’s better than none.”

“When meditation was taught at… when it was taught before, we started very young. Part of it’s probably that younglings do pick up new skills quickly, but I’m wondering if part of it doesn’t have to do with trust. When you’re that young, you don’t realize yet how cruel the universe can be and you have total faith in your place in it. It’s easy to just… let go. And even when things get more complicated, you remember what it feels like and you can find it again,” Kanan sounded more wistful than sad at those particular memories, and Ezra almost hated to speak up.

“Where does that leave me?” Ezra asked, not feeling the need to bring up the obvious. If you trusted too much, you got hurt or killed. He trusted Kanan more than he probably should, and he still had an escape plan if things went bad.

“Having to do things the hard way, which sucks, but if there’s an easy fix I can’t think of it,” Kanan spoke bluntly and then shifted, leaning back and changing how he was sitting. “I’ve got an idea though.“

“What is it?” Ezra asked, watching him,

“Come here.” Kanan patted the floor in front of him. “I think you’re naturally sensing things around you most of the time, you’re just not aware of it. That could be why you’re getting frustrated, you can sense what I’m doing just enough to know you’re not doing it, but not clearly enough to copy it. Physical contact helps with that.”

“Worth a shot.” Ezra got up, wiggling his toes at the unpleasant numbness from kneeling so long, stepping closer so he could sit crosslegged in front of Kanan. Kanan put both hands on his shoulders, warm even through the layers of cloth between them. At least that was a far more pleasant distraction from the cold floor under his ass.

“Close your eyes, take a deep breath, then let your breathing match mine. Don’t really try to do anything, just… be,” Kanan spoke right by his ear and Ezra felt a small shiver go down his spine, even as he closed his eyes.

For a long time it seemed like nothing was happening. Ezra’s breathing was steady with Kanan’s and the light touch on his shoulders never faltered. There was nothing, nothing but the two of them sitting there on the cold floor in a ship doing nothing.

And then there was so much more. Between one breath and the next it was like something suddenly clicked and he was _aware_  of an entire universe out there. Fascinated, he reached out, he could feel Kanan quiet beside him and all the small presences of the animals that lived in the grassland around the ship and he kept pushing, feeling, seeing what else was out there. Then it was like touching a live wire and he couldn’t pull back from it. Some dim part of his consciousness was aware he must have reached Capitol City but everything else was overwhelmed in the jumble of so many emotions all at once. It was like being in the middle of a screaming crowd except it was inside his own head, and he couldn’t even begin to think of how to make it stop. Flailing he mentally reached for something, anything. And then Kanan was there, shocked, worried, but not panicking. He was a rock in the storm, and Ezra clung to that. Kanan was aware of his existence, not just flooding him with his own feelings without noticing him, and it kept him from falling apart as slowly the cacophony faded.

Ezra came back to himself, blinking dazedly and slowly realizing he’d slumped back against Kanan’s chest at some point. Instead of just resting his hands on his shoulders Kanan had wrapped them around his chest, holding him tight.

“I.. that...” Ezra struggled to try and even find the words to ask what had happened.

“I’m sorry. That was… I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be able to do that or I’d have warned you. I should have said something. I just thought we were too far away from the city for you to be able to sense anything, especially on a first try,” Kanan spoke a little shakily and Ezra just nodded, glad he didn’t have to say anything.

After a long minute Kanan finally loosened his grip around him, rubbing over his upper arm. Ezra took that as a signal to pull away, standing up slowly. He was a little surprised that his legs weren’t unsteady, as intense as that had been he felt like he should have been wrung out. Instead he felt fine, physically.

“I’m sorry too, I mean… I should have been more careful, I wasn’t really thinking,” Ezra admitted.

“I’m your teacher, it’s my responsibility to keep stuff like that from happening, or to fix it if it does. Still think you’re going to be up for tonight?” Kanan asked.

“I think so, it was a little scary… ok, it was pretty terrifying, but I’m fine now. At least I feel fine, how about you?” Ezra looked Kanan over.

“I wouldn’t want to do that again anytime soon, but I’m up for the job.” Kanan reached out to give Ezra’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Right.” Ezra smiled at him. Even as unpleasant as it had been he felt a little better, and it took him a minute to figure out why. It may have been awful, but he now had irrefutable proof that the Force was real and all of this wasn’t a waste of time.

“Would you want to try again? More carefully this time, don’t go looking for trouble. I know it’s kind of soon, but...” Kanan started to sit back down and Ezra copied him, sitting facing him this time.

“But it’s like falling off a speeder bike, you get right back on before you can psych yourself out about it,” Ezra filled in, feeling proud when Kanan nodded. Ezra reached out then, taking Kanan’s hand and giving it a quick squeeze. “Not going to try anything this time, just… you know, the relaxing part.”

Kanan squeezed his hand back and Ezra could feel it warm even through his gloves as he closed his eyes and just let himself be.


	7. Chapter 7

Kanan stayed focused as they made it past security and into a different warehouse than the one they’d run into trouble in before, not that he could have told it was a different one at first glance. Dim lighting, stacks of near identical crates, he was fairly certain one could walk into an Imperial warehouse anywhere in the galaxy this time of night and see about the same thing he was seeing.

“I’ll start this side, you take the other, stay quiet, check and see if the contents match the markings and tap your com if something looks out of place,” Kanan spoke quietly, waiting for Ezra’s nod before he moved off.

Kanan was tense, not really liking this sort of investigating, but there wasn’t a whole lot of choice. Searching randomly just felt frustrating, opening crate after crate marked as uniforms or ration portions and finding exactly what they said. Everything initially seemed like maybe Ezra was right, it was just an ordinary shipment. The Star Destroyer could have been passing through anyway, it wasn’t necessarily important. Something kept nagging at the back of his mind that there had to be something more though, and he stubbornly stuck to the plan, searching crates even as he kept a good portion of his attention on any Imperial activity and how far Ezra had gotten in his own search. Just as he was fitting yet another lid back on his communicator gave a quiet chirp. He looked up, finding Ezra’s position easily. Ezra gave a shrug and motioned to the crate and Kanan nodded, heading over to him. It couldn’t have been something obvious or Ezra would have indicated that, not just a signal that he didn’t know.

Ezra was standing over a crate filled with… dirt?

“I didn’t recognize this stuff, do you know what it is?” Ezra spoke quietly, and Kanan reached to grab a handful of the dirt, squeezing it in surprise.

“Rockfoam, it’s a mineral deposit used in construction. It’s lightweight and strong and insulates, but you usually just see it used on worlds where it’s a mining byproduct. It’s next to worthless and there’s better alternatives. I don’t know why anyone would take the trouble to ship it offworld.” Kanan let the dirt drop back into the crate.

“Maybe they discovered a better use for it?” Ezra asked quietly, prodding at the dirt and frowning, then shoving his hand down deeper into the crate.

“Could be. What are you doing?” Kanan watched him.

“Smuggling trick, hide something valuable inside a shipment of something a lot less so, either because of taxes or because it’s illegal,” Ezra said, feeling around.

“I know that, but why would the Empire go to that much trouble?” Kanan asked skeptically, starting to turn to go back to his search, not wanting to waste any more time. He turned back immediately when Ezra made a muffled sound of surprise.

“I was thinking maybe not to hide it, but you said yourself it’s used as insulation. This doesn’t look like rockfoam.” Ezra held out his hand, on his palm was a good coating of dirt sticking to his glove, but also a crystal. It looked almost clear, but looking closely Kanan could already see a tint of color starting to bleed into it even if it wasn’t making direct contact with Ezra’s skin.

“No, that’s not rockfoam.” Kanan couldn’t keep the awe and surprise out of his voice.

Ezra rolled it to between his thumb and forefinger, holding it up to examine it. “Do you know what it is?”

“It’s a kyber crystal,” Kanan spoke with authority, even if he didn’t recognize it, the small vibrations in the Force were unmistakable.

“Oooh,” Ezra sounded impressed, then there was a pause. “What’s a kyber crystal?”

“They’re crystals that resonate with the Force, they were used to make lightsabers. I’ll give you the full history of them once we get out of here,” Kanan whispered urgently, glancing around. He could see at least a half dozen of the crates marked like the same as the one they were currently examining, as raw ore. He didn’t know how many, if any, were hiding crystals, or how many the crates might hold. The rockfoam must do more than just protect them from damage or hide them, it must be working to hide them from being sensed. The question was, by accident or design?

“Should I grab the crate?” Ezra reached to get the lid, starting to fit it back on.

“No,” Kanan spoke reluctantly, feeling terrible even if he knew it was the right answer. “If stealing too many blasters at once is risky, that would be insane.”

Ezra looked like he wanted to argue but he nodded instead, fitting the lid back on.

“Lets get out of here,” Kanan nodded to the exit. He wasn’t sure if this was the information Hera expected to find on Lothal, but it certainly warranted a report as soon as he could get back and get it encrypted. No matter what the Empire wanted with kyber crystals, it couldn’t be good.

 

* * *

 

Kanan had halfway forgotten about his promise to explain kyber crystals when he made it back to the ship. It wasn’t until after he fired off the quick report and closed the transmission channel that he remembered. He stepped out to find Ezra already waiting in his room. Kanan blinked, scrubbing a hand over his face. After everything that had happened, after the adrenaline left over from the mission finally wore off he was left exhausted.

Ezra seemed to notice, smiling tiredly. “If you want to postpone the lesson until later I understand.”

Kanan shook his head a little, going over to sit beside him on the bed. “I can try to at least give you the overview before I crash, so you know why they’re important. Just don’t expect any kind of formal lesson.”

“I can live with that.” Ezra flashed him a quick grin. “It alright if I take the other bunk again?”

“Go ahead,” Kanan answered without even having to think about it. He didn’t know why Ezra didn’t just stay on the ship more often when they had things planned, but he didn’t want to push. He probably valued his privacy and Kanan couldn’t say he blamed him. He hadn’t been expecting Ezra to be so good at sensing others on his very first try, but as strong as he was in that particular area he might have been picking up a sort of background radiation of emotion from the people around him for a long time. Even experienced Jedi had to guard against emotions from those around them if the emotions were strong enough, to be able to stay calm and centered even in the midst of a panic or riot. It was no wonder Ezra had packed up and moved out far away from any other minds.

“So why are these crystals so important? I know they were used for lightsabers before, but if there’s no more Jedi what use are they?” Ezra asked.

“I can’t know for sure, but besides resonating in the Force they’re uniquely good at focusing energy. Other crystals will start developing stress points and fractures over time and heavy use, eventually becoming unstable, but not a kyber crystal. They’re also extremely rare, they were only found on a few planets that I know of, and most of them aren’t exactly hospitable. It takes intense heat and pressure to form them. Illum is a barren wasteland of ice and snow, Jedha is habitable but its crystals were formed by an ancient meteor impact. Lothal isn’t anything like either of those,” Kanan mused.

“So if they’re looking for kyber crystals specifically even though they’re so rare, it must be because others aren’t suitable. Huh.” Ezra was quiet for a long moment, then he reached into one of his vest interior pockets, pulling out the crystal from before. “It doesn’t look like it would be that valuable.”

“You kept it?” Kanan was startled. He never even saw Ezra pocket it, but he’d been distracted. He’d just assumed…

“Yeah. I mean odds are if they even notice, they’ll probably think it was a mistake. Or they’ll check their own people before they think someone might have broken in and swiped just one little thing, right?” Ezra turned the crystal over in his hand. “Is it changing colors or is that just the light?”

“It...” Kanan was distracted from his half formed chiding that taking a crystal was still too big a risk. “It’s not the light, kyber crystals start out clear, but when they’re close and touched by someone with Force sensitivity they kind of imprint on the person and change color depending on them. In an ideal situation a Padawan would go and find their own untouched crystal to make it their own like you’re starting to, next best is finding one already touched but that’s close enough to feel right to you. In a pinch though, you can learn to work with any crystal. You’ll need to keep it close and meditate with it to get it to reach it’s full potential.”

“Then it’s probably a good thing I swiped it, huh?” Ezra smiled tiredly, tucking it back away. “Since they’re as rare and valuable as you say, I doubt you were planning to leave me your lightsaber and I may not get another chance at one.”

Kanan opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. No, he hadn’t been planning on doing that, he’d held onto it this long, and the risk to Ezra if he was found with it was a burden he didn’t want Ezra to bear. But at the same time why had he been training him with a blade if Ezra was never going to get a saber of his own? All he really had was half-formed excuses as to why it had always seemed right at the time. Maybe if it had come to it he could have removed the second focal crystal from his own, but he’d never given it much thought.

“Doesn’t really matter now, for now I’m too tired to think straight and I doubt you’re much better. If you want a more coherent lesson on the weapons of the Jedi it’ll have to wait until we’ve both had some sleep,” Kanan finally said.

“Including how to build my own?” Ezra asked.

“Maybe.” Kanan reached out, giving Ezra’s shoulder a light push. “Other bunk’s up top.”

“That’s too far away,” Ezra whined, slumping further before heaving a theatrical sigh and hauling himself up with visible effort to make the short walk around to the ladder.

Kanan smiled in spite of himself. It settled into a comfortable silence, neither of them talking as they tugged off boots and hard armor parts. As Kanan closed his eyes, letting sleep come to claim him, his last half coherent thoughts were that he could get used to this.

 

* * *

 

“The two most common colors are green and blue, and after that’s yellow. There are more colors than that, but most of them are rare enough that I’m going to skip them for now. We’ll deal with them later.” Kanan spoke slowly as he tried to remember how he’d learned about the colors, holding the holocron but not opening it yet. “Blue are Jedi who are action oriented, they prefer direct solutions, and frequently they tend to focus on their combat skills, trusting in their fighting ability to get them out of a tough spot.”

Blue was easy enough to remember, he’d been overjoyed as a youngling when time and time again he would choose an unmarked practice saber and have it light blue until he finally received a blue crystal of his own. He wanted to be a hero of the Republic, charging in to save the day. Sometimes it was hard to think he’d ever been that cocksure and naive.

“Green is for the thinkers, the philosophers and healers. Those who’s first instinct is to negotiate rather than fight. Not that they can’t fight, but they’d rather solve the problem another way if they can. Yellow is for those balanced between the two, typically yellow sabers were for guards,” Kanan explained. It was hard to think of the green blades without remembering his own master. She had been endlessly patient with her young padawan’s never ending questions, a steadying presence even in the worst of times. Her loss still ached sharply even all these years later, even if he knew she’d have wanted her memory to be a comfort.

“Just those three?” Ezra asked, sounding genuinely curious. “It seems a little… limiting.”

Kanan chuckled. “No, those were just the most common, and there was a great deal of subtle variation within each color range, and a lot of academic papers and theories about insights into people’s personalities, and I’m just sticking to what was generally agreed on. My own grand master’s saber was purple, and it’s hard to say for sure what, if anything, that might have meant.”

“Even if you weren’t sure, what was your theory on why it was purple?” Ezra asked

“I’m not sure, I didn’t know him well,” Kanan said a little ruefully. It was an understatement, between the war and the council Mace Windu had little time for younglings, and he got the feeling it was out of a general annoyance at dealing with people who weren’t yet ready to talk on his level. Then he sobered a little, remembering something he had left out. Not intentionally, but so much of his own early schooling had treated the dark side almost as a boogeyman, a fear to keep you in line but with no true conviction that it was actually waiting out there to destroy you.

“One of the theories was that as a master swordsman he was the only Jedi to successfully go to the edge of the dark side without ever falling over and letting it taint him. That his crystal reflected that, balanced between red and blue. I don’t know how true that was, but I heard it often enough,” Kanan explained.

Ezra looked confused, and Kanan didn’t blame him. “The dark side? What’s that?”

“It’s hard to explain. It’s something every Jedi learns about eventually, but there’s not a lot known about it. When you reach for the Force in good faith, let it guide you, you’re using the light side. But if you reach for it in anger, selfishly, with ill intent then you risk touching the dark side. It corrupts you like a poison. It’s good at destroying and little else, but since it is good at destroying it will always be a temptation.” It wasn’t the answer Kanan had been given all those years ago, but Ezra could look up the cleaner answers on its own. “If you were given the option to destroy the Empire, to kill every man, woman, and child loyal to it. Would you?”

Ezra started to speak, then stopped himself, visibly torn. “I don’t know. I want to say no, people can change, people can become better. I’ve seen people join the Academy because it’s better than starving, or because they believed the good the Empire does outweighs the bad. And...I don’t know. People can change for the worse too. But I’ve seen the bad the Empire does and I don’t know if it would be better for more people if that just… stopped. I don’t know what the right answer is.”

Kanan reached out, squeezing his shoulder. “That’s a good answer. Generally I’ve found the people who get into the most trouble are the people not even willing to consider they could be wrong. People who use the dark side carry red blades. I don’t know how they get the crystals for them, some historians said they made synthetic crystals, some said they took untouched kyber crystals the same as the Jedi did, and some said they took crystals from defeated Jedi and corrupted them somehow to turn them red. Hopefully you’ll never encounter a red blade, but you need to know.”

“Red blades bad, got it,” Ezra said with forced lightness, then he sobered. “There’s not a chance I could...”

Kanan knew where that question was going and cut him off. “No, I don’t know what the future holds for you, but at this point in time I’d know if you were dark at all, and you’re not.”

“Good,” Ezra sounded relieved and Kanan was grateful for it. “Now that we’ve covered the philosophical parts, can we maybe get into how a lightsaber actually works?”

Kanan laughed despite himself, opening the holocron with an ease that made it tempting to forget what a struggle it had been only a few weeks before. The endless diagrams and circuit configurations and explanations of casing material strength to weight ratios were more than enough to keep them both busy for a dozen more lessons before he ever even opened up his own for Ezra to see for himself how one worked. No, Kanan knew, Ezra was the furthest thing from dark, he’d felt his light in the Force like a beacon when they’d meditated together, and now that he knew what to feel for being close to him was like basking in front of a heater on a chilly day. He’d taken this mission to spend time on his own, re-centering himself, but he was becoming more and more aware that the time he did spend alone now was less satisfying.

He tried not to think about when his time on Lothal came to an end and he kept his side of their bargain. Ezra deserved a chance at a normal life, and doing what he could to arrange that may not absolve him of past regrets, but it was the right thing to do. No matter how much it was going to hurt to let Ezra walk away.


	8. Chapter 8

Kanan was at a bit of a loss as to what the next step should be. Hera hadn’t gotten back to him so he assumed his mission was to remain the same. Keep gathering information until he heard otherwise. He had a holo of the planet up, with known mining sites, both current Imperial sites and now shut-down private sites marked. Short of investigating them all one by one there wasn’t any way of knowing which sites might be producing the kyber crystals. He had been staring at it without really seeing it for a while in hopes of some flash of insight.

Kanan was so lost in his own head he didn’t even realize he wasn’t alone in the room until Ezra cleared his throat. He jerked at the sound, blinking and refocusing on Ezra’s amused face.

“Guessing you lost track of time?” Ezra asked, leaning around him to study the holo.

“I, right, we were going to train this afternoon.” Kanan rubbed over his face, starting to get up. Ezra put a hand on his shoulder, nudging him back down.

“We might want to skip it, it’s grey and drizzling rain out there. You get to experience one of Lothal’s few rainy days,” Ezra said, and now that he mentioned it Kanan could see how damp his hair and outer clothing was no doubt from the ride between his tower and the ship.

Kanan hesitated, part of him wanted to say that there was no guarantee a fight would happen during good weather and a Jedi needed to be ready for anything. The rest of him didn’t really want to spent any time out in the wind and rain if he could help it.

“We can find something to do indoors then,” Kanan decided. “Want to get dried off? It won’t take long to use the cleaners on your clothing.”

“That would be great, thanks,” Ezra said, reaching out to indicate the holo. “Are those mining sites?

“Yeah, what do you know about mining on Lothal?” Kanan asked.

“Not a whole lot, other than like most jobs they used to be mostly private and now they’re all Imperial, same as everything else. Communications, mining, fishing, there’s still a few private farms but fewer every year.” Ezra shook his head, and then shivered and Kanan felt guilty.

“Go get dried off, I’m not going anywhere,” Kanan waved him off and Ezra nodded, heading back towards the ‘fresher. It didn’t tell him anything that he didn’t already know, Imperial control was spreading throughout Lothal like some kind of virus and he had no way to tell if it was just greed or something more sinister.

 

* * *

 

Ezra looked a great deal better clean even if Kanan found himself wishing he’d had some sort of excuse to help him warm up. Ezra was a surprisingly grounding presence and there was no good reason for anything other than fleeting friendly touches. Ezra looked unusually thoughtful though, and Kanan pulled his thoughts back to the here and now instead of off chasing daydreams.

“Something on your mind?” Kanan asked, relaxing back on the seat and leaving plenty of room on the other side of the holotable. Ezra took a seat across from him, flashing him a brief smile that only lasted a moment before turning back serious.

“This is why you’re really here, isn’t it?” Ezra indicated where the holo had been floating.

“I... what?” Kanan blinked, surprised and a little guilty.

“You’ve got some sort of secret job and all this is some kind of cover. Am I right? You’ve been distracted ever since we found the crates of crystals. You haven’t mentioned anything about another paying job, which means whatever you found is more important than just credits,” Ezra said seriously and Kanan hesitated, trying hard to think what he should say.

He could lie and say Ezra was wildly off track. If he said he couldn’t say anything, Ezra would probably believe him. After all, it was true, but… Something in him balked at the secrecy. He’d spent so much of his life caught up in so many secrets they made his head hurt.

“You’re right. I did come here to spy, to find out what the Empire’s up to on Lothal. I can’t tell you why, or tell you much about it. But that’s why I’m here, and that’s why I keep trying to figure out where those kyber crystals are coming from,” Kanan hoped that was enough for Ezra.

“You really think they’d do all of this just because of some crystals?” Ezra asked, and Kanan could only shrug.

“I don’t know, I don’t know what the Empire’s planning or the real reason or reasons they’re here, but I know more than I did a week ago at least,” Kanan said.

“That sounds really useful,” Ezra said, but there was amusement in his voice and his lips quirked upwards in the start of a smirk and Kanan couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah, it’s not nearly as glamorous as it sounds,” Kanan smirked back at him.

“Too bad. And it really is a shame the weather’s nasty. I wanted to show you this.” Ezra unclipped something from his belt, sliding it across the table.

Kanan looked at the metal tool in confusion, picking it up. He didn’t recognize it, it seemed to have a handle and it was a flattened square in shape. If he’d had to wager a guess he’d say it was some sort of industrial device. “What is it?”

“My lightsaber. Kind of. I figured it was ridiculous to walk around with a sword hilt that screamed ‘hey, look at me, I’m a Jedi’ which is why you keep yours in two parts, right?” Ezra grinned brightly, and he sounded so proud Kanan couldn’t help but smile back.

“Then when we’ve got a clear day you can show me what that thing can do. And since you know my secret, well, my other secret, maybe you can help me decide which of these mining facilities to check first.” Kanan slide it back across the table for Ezra to take back, bringing the holo back up to slowly rotate between them.

“I’m not sure how much help I’ll be. I mean I can still help, but I don’t know mines like I do shipyards,” Ezra cautioned, clipping the unusual lightsaber hilt back to his belt.

“Any information is more than what I’ve got right now,” Kanan breathed out in an annoyed sigh, pressing more buttons so the planet shrank and a second joined it on the table, spinning slowly. “This is Jedha, from what I know here’s the impact crater, the epicenter of impact creates the best environment for crystals, and then the force tends to ripple out in waves, forming smaller sites throughout the planet that could be predicted and mined. Without knowing where to start, it’s a very big planet.”

“Right. And we don’t know if maybe someone just got lucky at some point and found crystals when they were looking for something else. Maybe we should just pick whichever site looks least well defended?” Ezra asked.

“Maybe. Wait a sec,” Kanan frowned at the holos, shrinking Jedha back down and bringing Lothal up to spin again. “We’re only seeing a small part of the planet like this.” He typed quickly, looking through his files and then pulling up a topical map of the planet, oceans removed.

Ezra made a startled sound, seeing it at almost the same time Kanan did. “That right there? Looks an awful lot like a crater. Just a lot messier than the other one.” He reached out to point at an area Kanan remembered as forming part of the ocean near Capitol City.

“Jedha’s a desert, Lothal may not get a lot of rain but it’s a lot wetter than Jedha. Where that one stayed clean, Lothal’s crater edges were worn by time, and the ocean that came in to fill the hole,” Kanan spoke with more certainty than he’d felt in a while. “When did they close down Lothal’s fishing industry?”

“Ages ago, it was the first thing the Imperials went after, I was just a kid, but everyone talked about how strange it was they never reopened the fisheries even under Imperial control. You think that had something to do with it?” Ezra spoke quietly, not taking his eyes off the map.

“It’s an awfully big coincidence. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions here, but commercial fishing seems like it could get in the way of quietly setting up any sort of underwater mining operation,” Kanan spoke softly, it made sense and he almost hoped he was wrong. If that was the case the Empire’s interest in Lothal went back a lot further than he’d guessed and they could have been mining crystals for years now.

“Guess we’ll find out, and if there’s nothing there we can check out the mines you know about,” Ezra said, sounding optimistic.

“You keep saying we, you know this isn’t part of our original agreement? I can’t really pay you to spy on the Empire like this. You can walk away,” Kanan hated to bring it up, he loathed the idea of sending Ezra away, but if they got caught it would be much worse than just getting arrested for stealing some blasters. He’d accepted the risks a long time ago, but Ezra still had options.

“You’re kidding, right? I know there are risks involved, I’m not afraid. The Empire can’t be doing anything good with those crystals, stopping them could mean protecting a lot of people. Plus, I can help watch your back,” Ezra pointed out.

“I thought you preferred to get paid?” Kanan asked, but he was smiling a little at Ezra’s enthusiasm.

“Well yeah, you have to stay realistic. I can’t do much if I starve to death, right? But as long as we’re not in any danger of that then I want to help if I can. Plus if this is the main reason the Empire’s been ruining Lothal, then I want to know,” Ezra’s voice held a touch of bitterness at the last.

“You care a lot about Lothal, don’t you?” Kanan asked, waiting for the nod before he continued. “So why do you want to leave it so bad?”

Ezra startled at that, looking guilty for a moment, and then that faded into something a good bit more sad and resigned. “Because I’m tired of watching the Empire slowly killing it and knowing there’s nothing I can do but watch.”

Kanan winced at that. “Sorry. Yeah, that makes sense. I’d want to leave too.”

 

* * *

 

Kanan gave Ezra a boost up to reach the air vent, holding still patiently while he popped the cover and hauled himself the rest of the way up and in. He didn’t seem to be any stranger to that method of breaking and entering and Kanan figured his slight build probably came in handy. If he absolutely had to he might have been able to squeeze through himself, but he only had to wait until Ezra opened the door from the other side.

Instead of one of the mining locations they were checking out one of the closed fisheries on the outskirts of Capitol City. He was hoping there might be some clues, and at first glance he was disappointed. It was dark inside, with unused equipment sitting with a thick coating of dust on everything Kanan directed his glow rod towards. It didn’t look like anyone had disturbed it in ages.

“Looks like this factory isn’t as abandoned as it looked,” Ezra murmured, and Kanan looked at him, confused.

“The dust,” Ezra elaborated, waving a hand, but still keeping his voice down. “It’s weird, but you only get dust when there’s people or animals or something. Sealed up buildings don’t make dust. It’s at least connected to something being used.”

“So it would have to be at least connected by ventilation system, but nothing anywhere around here should be in use,” Kanan spoke back just as softly, moving deeper into the building. He hated that they were leaving scuffs and footprints in the dust on the floor, but if no one else was disturbing this area, no one to see the traces they were leaving.

Further back and he was tensing, listening intently. Even idle a lot of computer equipment made small sounds as long as it was still drawing electricity, even if it was quiet enough for most people to tune out it was one of the reasons truly empty ships with no power were so unsettling to most. Something was still using power, and as they went deeper they encountered a wall that looked a great deal newer than the rest of the building. It was around where the fishing vessels themselves would have been stored and they exchanged looks, following it slowly until they came to a door. Kanan pressed his ear to it, listening and trying it, before motioning Ezra to pick the lock.

Simple interior locks were no challenge, and Ezra got the door open in a matter of moments, pushing it slightly open. Dim hallway lighting illuminated the other side and they both extinguished their glow rods.

“Looks pretty well maintained for an abandoned building,” Ezra whispered, and Kanan nodded.

“What do you think, keep investigating?” Kanan asked quietly.

“We came all this way, and there doesn’t seem to be anyone here right now.” Ezra looked back and forth down the empty hallway, and Kanan had to agree.

“Lets look around, we’d feel pretty foolish if it turns out this is just overflow offices that weren’t on the official listings,” Kanan started down the hallway, just picking a direction.

“You don’t really think that?” Ezra asked skeptically.

“Of course I don’t, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions just because it happens to fit a theory. I’ve been known to be wrong before,” Kanan said.

“You? Wrong about something?” Ezra voice was just as quiet, but it held a fond teasing note and Kanan couldn’t help but smile back at him, even if the situation was still tense.

“Shh,” Kanan hissed at him, then finally found the computer terminal he had been hoping would be nearby, starting to bring up information. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking for, it seemed to mostly be full of generic work information. Shift schedules, loads in and out, that sort of thing. It would have been useful if they were planning their infiltration rather than already in the middle of it. They’d managed to get lucky that there weren’t any overnight shifts. It looked like it was mostly just a few workers coming in. In fact he wouldn’t have been surprised if the majority of the work being done was automated or by droids. Pulling up a map, he took note of the layout and then logged out.

The shipyard itself was just as modern and maintained, no sign of disuse, and they all appeared to be submersible craft.

“I think whatever is going on, this is just the tip of it, the real stuff’s going on down there.” Ezra waved to indicate the inky dark pool of water the submersibles were all neatly clustered around.

Kanan picked one of the craft at random, checking to make sure there was enough room for two in the cockpit so he didn’t have to risk finding out if the cargo hold was connected to the life support systems. Or for that matter, finding out Ezra’s reaction to being asked to rattle around in the cargo hold instead of being in the cockpit proper.

“Want to go find out what they’re hiding down there?” Kanan asked, sliding into the pilot’s seat.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Ezra took the spot beside him without complaint and Kanan took the time to reach over and give his shoulder a quick reassuring squeeze before he was sealing up the hatch and starting the engines, guiding the craft up and over to the water and starting down into the darkness.

 

* * *

 

The lights on the submersible didn’t penetrate far into the murky water, but the autopilot was more than happy enough to guide them along on a pre-programmed path.

“Think we’ll find your underwater mining operation?” Ezra broke the silence, speaking quietly but no longer whispering. With just the two of them in the ship there wasn’t anyone to overhear.

“Maybe,” Kanan watched the water, not sure if he could see movement or if it was just his overactive imagination trying to picture what could be lurking in the oceans. “Were Lothal’s oceans dangerous before the fishing ban? Any large predators?”

“Would have been a good question to ask before we started down. Not that I remember? Wind-storms were dangerous and could cause unpredictable seas, but I never heard anything about sea monsters,” Ezra said thoughtfully.

“That’s good,” Kanan said, briefly wishing he had hung on to the standard-issue aquata breather he’d had all those years ago. It had been a little too distinctively part of a Jedi’s kit, but neither valuable nor useful under most circumstances. It would have been a comfort knowing he had it, even if he had no intention of interacting with the water any closer than he already was. Somehow even if it was less dangerous, being surrounded by water seemed more menacing than being in the depths of space.

Finally a dim glow started showing through the water, and then the lights of their craft illuminated artificial structures rising out of the sea floor, gliding along until they were pushing through a field to keep the water out, their craft hovering and setting down on a loading dock.

After a moment Kanan opened the cockpit up and looked around. The air smelled surprisingly earthy, he would have thought it would be more stale and metallic. Crates were stacked nearby, and loading equipment, but none of it was in use. Kanan let himself out of the craft, flicking on his glow rod even if the standby lighting was plenty bright enough to avoid running into anything.

“This place is creepy,” Ezra muttered, hopping out to join him, wrapping his arms around himself with a shiver. “And cold. Guess they’re not going to waste heating on whatever they’re doing down here?”

Kanan shrugged, it didn’t feel especially cold to him, but it was damp and their sounds echoed strangely in the underwater structure. “Lets check things out quickly then and get back.”

“ _Why? You’ve only just arrived._ ”

The mechanically filtered voice cut through the quiet and Kanan jerked, hand going automatically to his blaster as he looked around wildly. He could see Ezra take a similar defensive stance, hand going to the saber on his belt and unclipping it. He silently tried to warn him not to do anything stupid.

“So what do we have here? Thieves? Spies? Saboteurs? I don’t suppose you’ll try to convince me that you’re lost?” A dark-clad figure stepped out into the open, half-circular hilt in hand and face covered in a sleek helmet and mask. There was no way to tell what species they were, or even what they’d sound like without the scrambling. The close fitting jumpsuit and armor gave nothing away except that the figure couldn’t have been too broad under it. “And here I thought my inspection of this facility was going to be entirely uneventful.”

“There’s two of us and only one of you, how about you just forget you’ve seen us?” Kanan tried to bluff, even as panic struggled to gain a foothold in the back of his mind. This was bad, very bad, and every instinct was screaming to fight or flee even though the figure hadn’t even done anything overly threatening yet.

“Not very likely. But you’re right, there are two of you, I only need to capture one to interrogate. Which will it be?” The figure didn’t even seem to move, but suddenly a red blade sprung into existence from the hilt he was holding, tinting the black of his outfit with red.

Kanan couldn’t breathe, and in his moment of frozen shock Ezra moved. He yelled, bringing up his weapon and firing a series of shots that the figure easily deflected back, and then the figure threw out a hand and Ezra flew back, hitting the nearby stack of crates and falling down far too limply onto the ground. With a sound that might have almost been a chuckle the figure brought his hand down and the crates and nearby equipment trembled and then came crashing down onto the prone figure.

“Decision made then.” The figure turned to point the blank face of the mask in Kanan’s direction.

Kanan felt his hand tremble on the hilt of the blaster, and then grow steadier as he pulled it away. There was an empty spot in his awareness where Ezra’s Force Presence had been just minutes before and everything was far too terribly cold. He felt numb, like the moment of wrongness right after an injury before the body and nerves caught up with the fact they’d been injured and it _hurt_. Ezra was gone and he was alone with his enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While readers probably recognize this as an Inquisitor, it is not one seen in canon. It's an original one that probably looks closest to the 8th Brother.


	9. Chapter 9

Kanan found himself fitting the two pieces of his lightsaber together almost mechanically. A blaster wouldn’t work against a darkside user, it would have to be blade on blade. A single blade wasn’t ideal for fighting a saberstaff, and with a small pang he realized Ezra’s odd looking lightsaber hilt had fallen nearby. A few quick steps took him over to it.

“Nothing to say now? There’s no reason to run, you’d drown long before you reached the surface,” The masked figure spoke mockingly.

“I’m not planning on running, not now,” Kanan gritted his teeth and activated both blades, taking a defensive stance. He hadn’t seen Ezra’s blade before, but somehow he wasn’t surprised when it lit up a brilliant green, like his master’s had been. It responded a little more slowly, heavy in his hand, no doubt recognizing that he wasn’t its proper owner. But it would still respond to him, and in his defensive hand it didn’t need to be as light.

“Oh my, an even better find, if I’d known he was your apprentice I wouldn’t have been so hasty. Then again, from how quickly he died, not much of a loss,” The figure taunted, but he did take a step back, altering his stance warily.

Kanan was aware the jabs would probably hurt later, but he could deal with that when it happened. For now he was still numb, what more could the Empire do? He’d lost Ezra. He’d lost his shot to make his master’s sacrifice worth something more. He might die, but he might as well die taking out Ezra’s killer in the process. He went on the attack.

It was almost uncanny how easily he fell into movements he’d spent over a decade trying to forget, forcing the figure back. He wasn’t even thinking, just focused on his goal. There was nothing for him but this. The dark figure matched him for a time, but soon fell into a more defensive position as Kanan kept pressing onward. Kanan wasn’t even truly aware of the passage of time, the Force temporarily easing the burn in his lungs and long unused muscles.

The end was almost anticlimactic, Kanan sliced through his guard, through the strange circular hilt of the saberstaff, and into the less armored side of the figure. The other collapsed, leaving him standing numbly over the other, blades still held high.

“You… you fool,” Even through the helmet distortion the voice was weak. “More will come after you now, you’ll be hunted...” and the voice trailed off as the body shuddered and went still.

“That’s nothing new,” Kanan spoke bitterly, straightening up and turning off both blades, closing his eyes. He didn’t feel anything but hollow. He hadn’t truly expected to survive, and now he was alone except for the quiet hum of machinery. Except… except there was a flicker of awareness on the edge of his consciousness and he opened his eyes, breathing out. It couldn’t be. He stumbled, turning so he could rush over to the pile of crates and equipment on legs that trembled. He shoved stuff out of the way, not caring where it fell except that it wasn’t between him and Ezra any longer. He finally uncovered part of his arm, and then his head where he’d fallen. Ezra was breathing, and looking to be trying to move.

“Ezra...” Kanan breathed out softly, cupping a hand against his cheek as Ezras eyelids fluttered open, unfocused at first.

“K-Kanan?” Ezra sounded confused, trying to turn to look at him and then making a pained sound when he couldn’t move. “What happened? I tried to stun him and then.. nothing.”

Realization dawned and Kanan absently smoothed some of Ezra’s hair back from his face as he answered. “When he sent your stun bolts back at you, you must have gotten stunned. He threw you back and buried you and I thought you were dead, but you were just stunned, that’s why I couldn’t feel you.” He was nearly lightheaded with relief.

“You thought I was dead? What happened to...” Ezra asked, trying to lift his head again and Kanan moved to start shifting more of the equipment off him, more careful this time. He didn’t want to shift it wrong and hurt him.

“He’s gone,” Kanan said bluntly, not wanting to dwell on things. “I took care of him.”

“I wish I could have seen it,” Ezra said, trying to help and then just giving up, flexing his other hand when Kanan freed it.

“It’s done now. How do you feel? Does anything hurt?” Kanan tried to lift one of the biggest things holding him down, it looked to be the framework for a drill, and couldn’t budge it. He shook his head a little, stepping back and lifting his hand to focus on it. It stayed stubbornly wedged, or possibly his own focus wasn’t as it should be after everything

“Be easier to figure out if anything doesn’t,” Ezra wheezed out what was almost a laugh and then went quiet, and Kanan felt his mind reaching out. Kanan reached down with his free hand, gripping one of Ezra’s to strengthen the connection and then together they lifted the drill up, tipping it to the side and finally freeing Ezra.

Even as the connection faded he could still feel how much pain Ezra was in and he moved in tentatively to see how he could lift him up without making anything worse. Ezra tried to help, but the moment he tried to put weight on his left leg he gave a strangled yelp, nearly collapsing back.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Kanan murmured, trying to sound soothing as he judged how shaky he was, and then just lifted Ezra up into his arms. It wasn’t a long walk back to the submersible they’d come in, but he was grateful to ease Ezra down into the passenger seat.

Ezra leaned back, breathing in shallow pained pants. “What… ah… what are we going to do about, uh, him? Dead bodies attract attention.”

Kanan frowned, thinking it over. There wasn’t a good way to hide that he’d been struck with a lightsaber, not anything he really wanted to do to anyway. “And he seems like he’d attract more than most. Pitch him into the sea?”

“Maybe, he might float up thought. Worth a shot?” Ezra looked at the barrier holding the water back.

“Or we could bring the sea in to him,” Kanan was suddenly struck with inspiration, hurrying around to the cockpit of the submersible and looking around for the shield generator. It was close to the barrier itself as he hoped. “This might make things a little rough,” Kanan warned.

“Do it, if we damage their mining operation all the better,” Ezra said firmly, gripping the console in front of him.

Kanan got his blaster out, taking careful aim. It took a few shots to seriously damage the equipment, and for a moment he worried it wasn’t going to work. Then another shot and warning klaxons came on as the shield lost power and dark water started pouring in. Kanan slammed the cockpit closed and hung on as the sub was jostled and spun around sickeningly, lurching in the rising water as he brought the controls online. Ezra hung on grimly, lips tight and not saying a word. For a moment the engines sputtered, and then the sub roared to life, the lights coming on. Kanan made a guess that the direction the water seemed to be pouring in from was the direction he should be going, steering them in that direction and fighting against the current.

It was a tense few minutes as it was hard to tell if the small craft was making any headway against the water pouring in, and then he was aiming it right through the gap where the barrier had been and shooting out into the open ocean.

Kanan breathed out a shuddering laugh in relief, grinning at Ezra and then sobering. Ezra had slumped back, one arm wrapped around his lower ribs, his face twisted into a grimace as he panted shallowly, eyes closed. He felt a fresh stab of worry, he’d been so caught up in the relief that Ezra was alive and moving that he hadn’t considered how badly hurt he might be. He set the controls to head back to the surface, reaching over to take Ezra’s hand, gently squeezing.

“Not much longer now, as soon as we’re up we’ll get you medical treatment. Uh, on that, do you know any med centers on Lothal that aren’t affiliated with the Empire?” Kanan hated to ask, but he couldn’t remember any off the top of his head.

“There aren’t any,” Ezra squeezed his hand back, opening his eyes a little. “There were a few people unofficially treating people, but the ones I knew about got shut down.”

“Then we’ll try to find someone here, and if that doesn’t work we’ll find one off planet,” Kanan promised, not wanting to break the contact.

“Can’t I just take something and lay down and not move for a while, maybe a week or two?” Ezra asked plaintively.

“Not until we know how badly you’re hurt,” Kanan knew the stun wouldn’t leave any lasting damage, but if there had been any internal injuries waiting could be dangerous. “I didn’t like that you couldn’t put weight on one leg.”

“It was down near my foot, not higher on my leg, if that helps at all?” Ezra chuckled breathlessly “Also hurts to take a deep breath, but that could be a bone bruise. Breathing is fine otherwise,”

“I’ll feel better with a proper diagnostic scan.” Kanan squeezed his hand and then put it back on the controls as they approached the hanger in the old fishery. He brought them in as carefully as he could, not wanting to bump Ezra around any more than he had to. There were risks in coming back, he didn’t know if any alarms had gone off in the mining facility, but returning the ship left fewer clues to potentially lead back to them. Not to mention if their bikes were discovered they’d be in trouble.

He opened the cockpit, relieved when for the moment the warehouse was just as quiet and dim as they had left it. He went around to help Ezra out.

“Maybe it’s not so bad?” Ezra asked, stubbornly hopeful as he tried to ease out of the sub and stand on his own. As soon as he tried to put weight on his leg again he flinched, loosing his balance and sitting back down too quickly and letting out a strangled yelp.

“I can carry you,” Kanan offered, a little too quickly, but there weren’t a lot of options. Supporting him while he limped would be a great deal slower.

Ezra gritted his teeth, but nodded. “I can hold the glow-rod?” He offered, a little shakily. Kanan nodded, lifting him as gently as he could into his arms.

Retracing their steps was uneventful, but tense. Kanan kept expecting alarms to sound, the lights to come on, people to come swarming to investigate the disaster. Something that big shouldn’t have gone unnoticed, unless the systems were unconnected. For security, maybe they were? If that was so they might have time before people discovered things had gone very wrong. That could be what was saving them.

“I don’t know if I can handle my bike,” Ezra spoke up quietly, when they were almost outside. Kanan knew it had to sting his pride to admit it.

“I can tether it to the back of mine and you can ride with me,” Kanan offered, getting a nod in return. It wasn’t ideal, but short of leaving one bike behind they didn’t have a lot of options.

Ezra settled gingerly behind him once the bikes were linked together, wrapping his arms around Kanan’s waist and clinging, gripping tight at his shirt. Kanan did his best to just focus on getting them back, the bike quietly roaring to life as he set off back towards the ship.

 

* * *

 

Kanan didn’t have a whole lot of people on Lothal he’d trust besides Ezra, so it was more a matter of where would be open at this time well before dawn. The fueling station stayed open for people needing fuel at odd hours so at least someone would be there who could possibly help him. He landed the Escape, telling Ezra to stay put for the moment. Ezra didn’t argue, he’d been relieved to stretch out gingerly on Kanan’s bunk and didn’t seem inclined to try and move. Kanan wasn’t sure if he should be worried or glad Ezra didn’t seem to be stubborn about trying to prove he was fine. He hadn’t known him long enough to know if he was just a much better patient than Kanan himself, or if he was too hurt for bravado.

The Pit Stop was half closed up, just part of the bar and the fueling station itself being watched over by a bored looking Rodian.

“Hey, do you know where someone can get medical attention that’s not an Imperial Med Center around here? My friend’s been in an accident,” Kanan didn’t bother with pleasantries, and the Rhodian straightened up a little at his tone.

“I’m afraid the Med Center is the only option, even if it’s expensive.” The Rhodian looked apologetic, then thoughtful. “Wait, aren’t you Ezra Bridger’s new friend?”

“Yeah, he’s the one who’s injured.” Kanan hoped he was doing the right thing by telling the truth, he didn’t know if Ezra had more friends or enemies.

“I’ll wake up Jho,” The Rhodian sounded concerned, immediately getting up to vanish into the back. Kanan was left waiting at the counter for the several long minutes it took for both of them to come back out. If Jho was out of sorts from being woken up in the wee hours of the morning he didn’t show any sign of it.

“Something’s happened with Ezra? What’s he gotten into now?” The Ithorian asked immediately.

“There was an accident, some heavy equipment fell on him. He’s awake and alert, but I’m worried about internal injuries. Do you know someone we can go to?” Kanan asked, knowing he didn’t need to explain to Jho that they’d rather avoid anything Imperial run unless it was a matter of life and death.

“If it’s just a diagnostic scan you need, you can bring him here. Someone paid for their tab with an old med droid, I keep intending to get it fixed up and sold but… anyway, it can’t do much besides scan, but that will tell you what sort of treatment you’re looking at.” Jho spoke thoughtfully through the translator.

Kanan sagged with relief. “That’s exactly what we need. Some way to tell how serious it is. I’ll go get him.”

The trip back into the ship didn’t take long at all. For a moment after Kanan opened the door he thought Ezra had either fallen asleep or passed out, but then Ezra was turning his head slightly and opening his eyes.

“Any luck?” Ezra sounded like he was trying to force himself to sound at-ease, but not truly succeeding.

“I’d say so. Old Jho has a med droid that can scan you for injuries, that way we know where to go from there,” Kanan stepped across the room, not giving Ezra time to attempt getting up before he was lifting him up into his arms. His back and legs protested, between the fight and escape he was more than ready for a break, but he could rest when Ezra was out of danger.

Ezra tensed at being lifted, but it looked to be more bracing for discomfort than out of any sense of injured pride. “So it can tell if I’m injured? I could have told you that. I’m injured.”

“Don’t play dumb, you know it’s more information than that. And the med droid can tell us if it’s safe to give you any painkillers,” Kanan walked steadily out, maneuvering carefully to keep from bumping into anything. The last thing he wanted to do was slip up and bang Ezra’s injured leg on a door frame or something.

“Painkillers would be nice. You have those?” Ezra asked hopefully.

“A few, if it’s safe to take them. I can also show you a few tricks for dealing with pain, but you need to be able to focus,” Kanan explained, carrying him out and then going quiet once they were out of the privacy of the ship.

“I don’t think I could focus right now,” Ezra admitted, peering out at the Pit Stop as he was carried in.

Jho had the med droid up and functioning and even in top condition they always looked a little intimidating to Kanan. Dented and missing parts they crossed over into downright creepy, but he trusted that Jho knew what he was doing. He laid Ezra down on one of the tables straightening up and subtly trying to crack his back as he stepped back to give the droid room to work.

“How did you get into this anyway?” The Rhodian asked, and Kanan felt a little guilty he hadn’t bothered to ask for a name.

“Oh, you know,” Ezra tried to shrug a little, and winced. The droid made a disproving sound.

“Please refrain from moving during the scans,” It intoned.

“Holding still now,” Ezra said, only rolling his eyes a little.

Kanan was glad to see him mustering an attitude, though it was a sudden stark contrast to how quietly vulnerable he’d been just a minute ago. It had happened so gradually he wasn’t quite sure when Ezra had stopped putting up as much of a front around him.

“Scan complete,” The droid took a few tries, but a shaky hologram of a generic human male body formed, with significant looking red areas over more of it than Kanan was happy seeing.

“Surface bruising in these areas,” The droid pointed them out, then the hologram winked out then back on, and smaller red areas formed over the ribs and one foot and lower leg, with a few small blue dots. “Deeper bruising in these areas, sub-periosteal hematomas, and hairline fractures.” The hologram winked out again and Kanan held his breath waiting for something more. It never came.

“Recommended course of treatment is stabilization of the fractures with bonemer as well as rest, pain relief, and icing. If bonemer isn’t available, immobilization of the foot and ankle and additional rest will suffice.”

“That’s it?” Kanan breathed out. Hairline fractures and bone bruises would be painful and Ezra would be limping around on crutches for a while, but he’d live and should heal up with no lasting damage.

“That’s… good, right?” Ezra asked.

“It’s very good. I’ve got temp casts in the ship’s first aid kit, no need to visit any sort of med center.” Keeping the red mapping in mind, Kanan lightly squeezed Ezra’s undamaged shoulder, getting a smile at the touch.

“That’s a relief. Thank you, Jho, Draq,” Ezra nodded a little to both of the others.

“You’ve spent enough time hanging out here over the years, never caused any trouble. I’d have been ashamed if I didn’t do this much,” Jho said firmly.

“We can save any more thank yous for when it’s properly after dawn. Maybe a lot after. We should get a splint and ice on,” Kanan didn’t mind carefully lifting Ezra up one more time, knowing he just had to take the short trip back inside the ship and then Ezra could stay put a while.

“You should be able to find crutches most any shop that carries basic medical supplies,” The Rodian, Draq, offered, and Kanan nodded.

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks again,” Kanan started out back to the ship, feeling a great deal more optimistic than he had before.

“I’d say anytime, but I don’t want either of you dragging yourselves in needing a med droid again anytime soon,” Jho called out and Kanan grinned as he carried Ezra back inside the ship, sealing it behind them.

 

* * *

 

“Splint, ice, painkillers, anything else?” Kanan asked, setting Ezra down gently and hoping he wouldn’t need to pick him back up for a while.

“Can we change up the order to get the last one first?” Ezra asked, sounding exhausted. Kanan felt almost guilty for silently complaining about how tired he was.  
  
“Good idea, I promise I’ll be careful getting your boot off, but it’ll probably hurt,” Kanan said honestly. Ezra flinched, but nodded.

“I understand,” Ezra said, as Kanan left to get the supplies. He looked over the painkillers, hesitating, then grabbing some of the stronger ones. He had a feeling Ezra wouldn’t object to them making him sleepy, not after everything.

Ezra swallowed the pills without even asking any questions and Kanan took a moment to brush his fingers against his forehead, projecting reassurance. It was still odd to be able to do that, but it was worth it for the way Ezra relaxed at the touch. He steeled himself a little, going down to Ezra’s legs and starting on the fasteners on his boot, loosening it as much as possible.

“Ready?” Kanan asked.

“Just do it,” Ezra tensed again, gritting his teeth. Kanan eased the boot down, trying to move his foot as little as possible. The red and purple bruising mottling the skin looked ugly, but he knew it could have been much worse. He wrapped the splint around his ankle and foot to immobilize and support it, activating the soft fabric so it stiffened into a cast.

“How’s that?” Kanan asked, settling the first of the ice packs onto his ankle.

“It doesn’t hurt any worse?” Ezra said tentatively.

“We’ll take that for now.” Kanan got the next ice pack out. “Put this on your ribs where it hurts.”

Ezra nodded slightly, unfastening the top of his jumpsuit and then pressing the ice pack against his ribs through his t-shirt with a soft hiss.

“Thank you, for all of this,” Ezra looked up at him, managing a wan smile.

“You don’t need to thank me for this, you wouldn’t even be hurt if it wasn’t for me,” Kanan said, feeling another stab of guilt.

“Don’t blame yourself, I’m not some kid, I knew it could be dangerous and I wanted to go. Ok, maybe I didn’t think it would be scary dude with a red lightsaber dangerous, but I still knew it would be dangerous. And you saved me,” Ezra smiled up at him, no trace of dishonesty in their bond and Kanan felt himself flush a little.

“You’ll probably have questions about that later, huh?” Kanan asked.

“Yeah, but right now I don’t think I could say them clearly,” Ezra blinked slowly, and Kanan suspected the painkillers were kicking in quickly.

“Then just sleep on them,” Kanan patted Ezra’s uninjured shoulder and then straightened up, heading to the cockpit. He needed to move the Escape, so he wasn’t taking up a spot in Jho’s Pit Stop.

Kanan blinked at the light on the console, before he remembered it was set to record any incoming transmissions. He sat down heavily in the pilot’s chair, pressing the button to play the recording.

Hera’s familiar form flickered up as a hologram.

“ _Specter One, based on your recent findings you need to pull out immediately, it’s too risky. Take one day to wrap up any business you may have and head to the rendezvous point. Ghost out._ ”

Kanan stared at the blank console for several long moments, thoughts in turmoil. His first thought was that the transmission had come a little late. The next few thoughts revolved around Ezra. Even if he did change his plans and take him to a med center to repair the fractures, it would only drop his healing time from a month minimum to a few weeks. A day just wasn’t enough time, there was no way he could just dump him somewhere in his condition. He’d tentatively made peace with the idea of Ezra walking away from this, but leaving him like this wasn’t an option.

But if he disobeyed Hera’s orders and didn’t show, would she be willing to keep him on as a member of the crew? He could be tossing away his shot at making a difference. Was he willing to do that? Kanan didn’t know, and he mechanically went though the motions of warming up the engines and starting out to find a secure landing spot out in the grass sea. He had a day to figure things out.


	10. Chapter 10

Ezra vaguely remembered waking up once with the discomfort of his injuries and bruises starting to make itself known, only to have Kanan right there with a cup of water and more pills. He didn’t even think to question it, taking them and sinking right back into exhausted slumber.

The second time waking up went much better. Moving gingerly made his chest ache, but he could ignore that. He’d been in a lot more pain in the past and he’d gotten through that, so he’d manage now. Ezra was surprised to find crutches propped up by the bunk. He wasn’t sure if Kanan had gotten them while he slept, or if he’d already had them, but he stood up with them awkwardly, hobbling out of the room looking for Kanan.

Kanan had his blaster apart, cleaning it methodically while looking pensive. He looked up, smiling, but even from across the room Ezra could see it was only surface deep.

“You’re awake, how are you feeling?” Kanan asked.

“Like I got flattened under a bunch of equipment and survived. Thanks for the crutches, by the way.” Ezra hobbled slowly over so he could sit down.

“You’ll need to adjust them some, it looks like they’re still set too tall,” Kanan commented, neutrally enough.

“Oh, never really used them before,” Ezra fiddled with one of the crutches, figuring out how to adjust the height and then deciding to wait to fine tune it a bit more when he was ready to stand back up. “What’s on your mind?” Kanan was definitely feeling off about something, Ezra just wasn’t sure if it was the last job, or the fact he’d gotten hurt, or what. Ezra wasn’t really in any mood to guess.

“Have you thought about what you want to do after you leave Lothal?” Kanan answered his question with a question of his own, surprising him.

“I don’t know. I mean, I’ve thought some about what I can or can’t do, depending on what my options are, but a lot of that depends on where I end up,” Ezra mused. He hadn’t really wanted to think about this coming to an end, but he’d known what he was getting into from the beginning. It was his own fault for getting a little too close to things.

“Would you want to stay with me?” Kanan asked, hesitantly. “It’s not exactly a safe choice. You’d be in a lot of danger, even if I’ve never encountered a dark side user like that before it’s entirely possible it could happen again. And then there’s just the general risks that come from fighting the Empire...”

“Yes.” Ezra interrupted him.

“Yes?” Kanan blinked.

“Yes, of course I want to go with you. A chance to do more against the Empire? To make more of a difference? To not immediately get my ass kicked next time there’s a fight like that? I’d be an idiot to say no.” Ezra felt his heart leap a little, even if they were all true reasons, it also meant not saying goodbye to Kanan.

Kanan looked a little taken aback at how certain he sounded, then he chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “Alright, but if it turns out you hate the captain or anything else about it, the original offer still stands. Assuming they’ll let you join.”

“Hate the captain?” Ezra arched an eyebrow.

“We’ll be working with them, unless there’s another solo mission like this lined up,” Kanan explained.

Ezra started to shrug, then winced when it made the ache in his ribs flare to life. “I’ll manage. They can’t be that bad, right?” While it was a little disappointing that it wasn’t just going to be him and Kanan, maybe that was for the best. For all he knew sharing a ship with just him might get frustrating very quickly. Not that he thought it was too likely, but it was a possibility.

“You’ll see when you meet them,” Kanan said cryptically, then continued before Ezra had a chance to react. “And we’re on a deadline. After you fell asleep I got a transmission telling me I needed to leave Lothal and meet back up with the captain”

“How tight of a deadline?” Ezra asked with trepidation.

“We’re supposed to be making the jump in a little over tweleve hours?” Kanan sounded apologetic.

“That gives me enough time to grab a few things and say goodbye to a few people,” Ezra said with a small amount of relief. He’d been worried they’d need to take off immediately.

“Where do you need to go?” Kanan asked.

“My tower first, no real reason to keep the ship away now. If the bucketheads do wonder what a ship was doing there, it’s not like there will be anything left for them to find.” Ezra wasn’t exactly sure how well he’d do trying to pilot a speeder, not when he needed to use his upper body to steer, and he didn’t want to find out anytime soon. For a moment he wondered if Kanan’s offer was at least partially motivated out of pity and guilt for him getting hurt, and then he dismissed the thought as unimportant. So what if it was? As long as he didn’t try to go back on it later, things would work out.

 

* * *

 

Getting ready to leave didn’t take nearly as long as Ezra feared it might. There wasn’t a whole lot worth taking from his tower, a few supplies and a couple small mementos. Saying goodbye was nearly as quick, Vizago and his crew could go rot as far as he was concerned, and while he was going to miss people like Old Jho, he didn’t think he was imagining a certain amount of relief in the goodbyes. Going somewhere else wasn’t a guarantee of a better future, but it was better odds that staying on Lothal. He knew he’d been worried that to make ends meet he’d end up continuing to push his own morals or start taking too big of risks, he’d seen it happen before.

Ezra was glad for how quickly it went when he finally got to sit again. His foot and ankle throbbed, every breath deeper than the most shallow of movements ached, and the rest of his bruises were a little quieter but no less insistent in reminding him that the pain pills had worn off hours ago. He gritted his teeth, wishing there was a way to let his body know he’d gotten the transmission, he was very aware how banged up he was, unless something changed there was no reason to keep signaling pain.

“If there’s nothing else, we can head out early,’ Kanan spoke up. He’d made sure Ezra’s speeder and few belongings were secured, other than that there wasn’t much else they needed to do on Lothal.

“Sounds great. Good riddance, right?” It came out a little more bitter than Ezra intended and he inwardly winced.

“Was there anything more you needed to do on Lothal?” Kanan asked, sounding concerned, and Ezra shook his head slightly.

“No, I’m fine, just tired and sore. I’m ready to go,” Ezra assured him.

“After we make the jump to hyperspace it’ll be a while before we get where we’re going. I can help you get a little more comfortable.” Kanan started to pat him on the shoulder and then jerked to a stop at the last moment, moving awkwardly past him and towards the cockpit. Ezra regretted the lack of contact, but at the same time he was far too aware that more of him was bruised than not at this point.

“That sounds great. I’ll probably feel a little better once I’ve been off my feet for a while, so don’t worry too much,” Ezra called after him. Even adjusted correctly the crutches were hard to manage with his cracked ribs.

Ezra wasn’t sure what he expected from leaving the planet. Something new and strange, maybe, a difference between the artificial gravity and the planetary gravity, some sort of feeling. Instead the slight thrum of the engines deepened and after a few more minutes Kanan re-emerged from the cockpit.

“There, now we should have nothing to do but wait until the next jump point in roughly six hours, then another eight and we should be arriving.” Kanan offered him a hand, and Ezra took it without thinking, hauling himself up and then regretting it when everything hurt.

“Sorry,” Kanan spoke a little lower, noticing his expression. “I think you’ll be more comfortable in bed. Propping your leg up to get the swelling down will help.”

“Yeah, but your bedroom’s all the way over there,” Ezra pointed out.

“Would you rather I carried you?” Kanan asked.

“Yes,” Ezra said, thinking he was teasing, and then surprised but not at all opposed to it when Kanan bent down, carefully lifting Ezra up into his arms.

“This a little better?” Kanan asked, starting to walk down the hall to the bedroom.

“Much better.” Ezra managed a tense smile. It still hurt, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as trying to walk on the crutches and he hated the idea of Kanan flinching away from touching him.

Kanan eased him down onto the bunk, grabbing a pillow and putting it under his bad ankle.

“I’ll get you some more cold packs, then I was looking up meditation techniques for dealing with pain. That way you can save taking anything for when you’re ready to sleep,” Kanan explained.

“That’s a good idea,” Ezra sighed out carefully. Getting medical supplies was difficult and he’d mostly gone without them. Being able to cope better with injuries would be useful, even if it seemed like Kanan had an easier time getting supplies.

It didn’t take long for Kanan to return with the ice packs, settling one gingerly over his ankle. Ezra reached to take another to press it to where his ribs were the most sore.

“I’m not going to make a very good impression on your captain,” Ezra said a little ruefully, just relaxing back as much as he was able to.

“Don’t worry about that,” Kanan knelt down beside the bunk, reaching to take Ezra’s hand.

“You can take my gloves off,” Ezra suggested, flexing his fingers a little. He didn’t think Kanan actually needed the skin to skin contact, just being close was enough to enhance the connection, but he wanted to touch him.

Kanan didn’t argue, tugging off the fingerless glove and then the more insulating one under it, curling his fingers around Ezra’s. Ezra had a moment to hope his fingers weren’t too clammy, but then he just focused on the warm feeling of Kanan’s touch.

“I know it’s harder to clear your mind and focus when you’re in pain, but do your best,” Kanan instructed, closing his eyes, and after a moment Ezra did the same. “Breathe deep… uh, just breathe as steady as you can.”

It was harder like this to push past the low throbbing in his ankle and the sharp pain in his chest every time he breathed too deeply, but Kanan’s touch and presence was right there and Ezra focused on it, slowly letting the physical discomfort fall away.

“Just like that, let the Force flow through you, between you and your hurt. There is no pain here, only the Force.”Kanan spoke soothingly and Ezra focused on the words. “It’s hard to hold focus like this, but it’s a way to deal with pain and let yourself heal.”

Ezra couldn’t keep his concentration and speak at the same time, so he just sent back wordless understanding and felt Kanan squeeze his fingers gently.

Ezra wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that, letting himself drift and turn things over slowly. After so long of things being more or less the same a lot had changed in a relatively short period of time. He was headed somewhere new, leaving Lothal behind. For now at least. He dimly felt Kanan stirring, starting to leave and he reached out again, sending him all the warmth and affection he felt, how badly he had wanted to stay with him. It was only when he could feel Kanan’s sudden surprise and then him closing himself off from their bond that he realized what he’d just done.


	11. Chapter 11

Kanan stared at the instrument panel without actually seeing any of it. He breathed out, running a hand over his pulled back hair. Of all the things he had considered when deciding to take on Ezra as his student this was one he hadn’t considered. If it was just a crush on Ezra’s part it would have been awkward, but they could have managed. Instead the emotions had been a near mirror of his own deeply buried ones, to the point a few near-panicked minutes had been spent thinking back and trying to figure out if there had been some point he could have accidentally influenced Ezra. He’d decided, that no matter how sensitive Ezra might be, there wasn’t any way he’d have been able to sense that without Kanan knowing about it.

So, it was time to go over the facts. First, Ezra’s interest in him was more than just a friendly partnership. Second, he’d been trying not to admit his was the same ever since thinking Ezra had died had shaken him so badly. Losing people was a part of life, it hurt, you dealt with it, you kept going. Except he hadn’t wanted to keep going without Ezra and that was a little terrifying. Part of him wanted to drop Ezra off somewhere and run before things got any more complicated, but the rest of him recognized what an awful thing that would be. That left him with two options, try to pretend the feelings didn’t exist or to try and do something about them. Both options had their drawbacks, the first would be difficult. It wasn’t as though he could reasonably close off the bond that had developed between them and still train him. If there were more like the armored darkside wielding Imperial out there Ezra would need to do more to defend himself than just keep his head down. Could they be that close and still pretend they didn’t want more?

The second had just as many opportunities to go wrong. They’d only been working together for a couple months, Ezra hadn’t even met Hera and Zeb, there wasn’t even any guarantee that Hera would take him on as part of the crew. He’d already decided that if Hera wasn’t willing to take Ezra on he’d stay with him, figure something out. They were both survivors, he didn’t have to put his ship back into storage, and it wasn’t like Hera would do anything to him for leaving. It might be a missed opportunity, but those were the breaks. He wasn’t going to compromise doing what he was sure was right for whatever Hera had planned, no matter how important.

Of course all of those things depended heavily on Ezra’s feelings on the matter, and Kanan blinked, then felt a wave of guilt. He’d just run out on him without explaining anything, he hadn’t even stopped to think, he’d just panicked at finding out how Ezra felt and left. He had no clue what Ezra thought of that, but he doubted anyone would be too thrilled at that reaction. Kanan needed to talk with him, even if he wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to say yet.

He pushed himself up from the chair, starting back towards the bedroom, and then pausing, feeling guilty again when he spotted Ezra’s crutches out in the main area by the seat. It hadn’t been that long, he didn’t think, and if it had been an emergency surely Ezra would have used the com systems? Except he knew if he was the one supposed to stay off his foot to let the bones heal he’d probably be trying to limp on his own anyway, and he suspected Ezra would do the same.

Luckily, Ezra was right where he’d left him. For just a moment Kanan thought maybe he’d fallen asleep and possibly hadn’t even realized he’d fled, but at the sound of the door Ezra opened his eyes, turning his head a little and dashed his half formed hopes at delaying the conversation.

“Hey,” Ezra spoke a little cautiously, sounding unsure.

“Hey, I, ah, I brought you your crutches, in case you need to get up for anything,” Kanan stalled, putting the crutches within reach of the bunk.

“Thanks. Sorry about before,” Ezra sounded guilty and Kanan winced.

“You don’t need to apologize for that,” Kanan spoke up quickly. “You were being honest, and it just surprised me.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m some lovesick idiot running off with you just because you’re attractive. I’ve been wanting new opportunities for a long time now. Yeah, I’m not getting legit work and I’m still going to be thieving, but I’m guessing the guidelines you gave Vizago are pretty standard? So you’re not going to ask me to do anything that bad, and that might have happened if I stayed on Lothal and got desperate enough.” Ezra started to push himself up into a sitting position, and then winced, giving up on the attempt.

“I don’t think you’re an idiot,” Kanan said, still processing the rest. Ezra may have been impulsive, somewhat overconfident sometimes and insecure the rest of the time, but he didn’t think he was stupid.

“So what do you think?” Ezra challenged.

“I think… when I thought you’d died down there it was one of the worst things I’ve felt, and I’ve been trying not to think too hard on that. You’re important to me, Ezra, and I’m not sure what I’d do if you’d been hurt any worse. I don’t want to lose you for any reason, but I don’t want to be selfish about this.” Kanan spoke awkwardly, trying to explain.

“If it’s something we both want, how’s that selfish?” Ezra asked, and Kanan smiled a little despite the seriousness of the moment.

“I’m not sure, I guess that comes in when something comes up where we want different things,” Kanan said.

“Then when that happens we work something out, or we try to end things peacefully. I mean, if there’s anything to end. I’d like there to be, but...” Ezra sounded so hopeful that Kanan didn’t hesitate, reaching to take Ezra’s still uncovered hand and squeezing gently.

“I think we can figure something out. If things… well, if you change your mind I’ll still teach you,” Kanan tried to reassure him.

“I didn’t think you were the kind of person who would hold something like training hostage for good behavior, you’re too good for that,” Ezra said.

“I’m not perfect though,” Kanan started, and Ezra’s snort interrupted him.

“Of course you’re not perfect, you’re stubborn and you get ahead of yourself sometimes and you can be kind of oblivious,” Ezra smiled at Kanan’s wince.

“Point taken,” Kanan said.

“But I’m not perfect either, and I like you. I’m happier working with you than I can remember being since, well, I’m not really sure.” Ezra shrugged a little, then winced at the movement.

“Then we’ll give this a try. Though, uh, I’m not sure exactly what we can do just yet. I don’t know if there’s anywhere I can touch you without it hurting.” Kanan gave his hand another small squeeze and Ezra huffed a quiet laugh.

“Ow, yeah, even laughing’s not really something I want to do right now.” Ezra rubbed gingerly over the side of his chest. “But even just being able to be close to you without worrying you’re going to sense how I feel is going to be nice. And we could kiss,” Ezra added, his voice a mix of teasing and hopeful.

“We could do that,” Kanan agreed, leaning in and pressing his lips to Ezra’s.

 

* * *

 

  
“I think that’s the last of it.” Kanan pushed the second crate beside the first, eyeing it critically. He’d stripped out anything that would expire in the next month or so, and packed up the few important things. Ezra hadn’t been able to help much, but at least his own stuff was still packed up. If this worked out like they hoped, it was better to be packed. If it didn’t they could unpack the crates and make a new plan.

“Seems like it.” Ezra leaned heavily on his crutches, trying to find a position that didn’t make his ribs ache. “How long until your mysterious captain shows up?”

“Not long at all,” a new voice spoke up and Ezra jerked in surprise, starting to twist to look in the direction of the voice before he winced. His ribs reminded him in no uncertain terms that twisting was still not something he should be doing. Ezra felt a faint hint of concern from their bond, though he couldn’t tell if it was worry over the situation or worry because he hurt. He did his best to send back reassurance before he turned around more carefully to get a look at the captain.

She wasn’t much like he was expecting, he’d been expecting someone a little more like Vizago maybe, scruffy and unsavory looking. Instead she looked like… a pilot. From a quilted flight cap that accommodated her long headtails to a dark gold jumpsuit she wouldn’t have been that out of place in any shipyard. Any non-Imperial shipyard at least.

“You didn’t mention you had company,” she spoke, arching an eyebrow. If she noticed Ezra’s assessment she didn’t look worried by it, then again she seemed to be looking him over just as critically.

“It wasn’t the sort of thing I wanted to talk about over the open com. Did you close things up behind you?” Kanan asked, waiting for her nod before taking a step closer to Ezra, putting a hand on his shoulder possessively. “He’s my padawan.”

Ezra felt a warm glow at the certain way Kanan said that, but he kept his attention on the twi’lek woman. She looked surprised at the declaration.

“I see.” She glanced between them.

“I didn’t really want to spring it on you, but it does mean that if Ezra can’t come with me, I won’t be moving back on board, not until he finishes his training.” Kanan sounded certain.

“That won’t be a problem. It’s nice to meet you, Ezra, I’m Captain Hera Syndulla,” Hera said, almost too quickly.

“Nice to meet you, captain,” Ezra said, stepping forward a little awkwardly to offer his hand. She took it, shaking it and then glancing at the crutches.

“I’m guessing there’s more you didn’t want to report over the open com?” Hera asked.

“Didn’t get your message not to investigate until after we’d already, uh, investigated,” Kanan explained.

“Is that when you got hurt?” Hera asked, glancing to Ezra.

Ezra nodded. “There was someone there, an Imperial using the dark side. He attacked us, dropped some equipment on me, I think he thought he killed me.” Ezra summed the rest of the encounter up quickly, trying not to embellish or leave anything out.

Hera made a thoughtful sound when he finished. “I would have preferred you both avoided causing that sort of incident, but it’s over and you did what you could to cover your tracks. Nothing more we can do about it now, and having a threat like that removed is better than having them still working for the Empire.”

Ezra wasn’t entirely sure he was comfortable with the phrasing. For all that he didn’t exactly mourn their death, he’d still have rather avoiding killing them if it had been possible. Then again, he’d spent enough time with the criminal element on Lothal to accept that sometimes it couldn’t be avoided and if Hera had been working even longer then she likely had the same pragmatic approach.

“We’re ready to move in whenever.” Kanan shrugged, obviously done with the incident for the moment.

“On that, there is one slight problem,” Hera sounded guilty, and Kanan arched an eyebrow.

“You said there wasn’t a problem with both of us coming together,” Kanan pointed out.

“I want you both on board, but I picked up a new crewmember a couple of weeks ago and she claimed the last empty bedroom,” Hera explained.

“That’s not a problem at all, he can stay with me,” Kanan said far too casually and Ezra had to control himself not to react to that.

“Then there’s not a problem. Will you be able to keep his training quiet with two other people? I know before you wanted to avoid anyone else knowing,” Hera asked.

“We should. And if not, it happens. It’s a risk we’re taking by not staying on our own, but I know you wouldn’t let anyone on board your ship if they weren’t trustworthy,” Kanan shrugged, but Ezra could sense the slight tension. Kanan clearly didn’t want anyone else to know, but he’d made the decision that the risk was worth it and he didn’t want to be questioned on it. “Sharing a room helps with that, I was going to suggest it anyway.”

“Since we’ve got the important details hashed out, can we get going?” Ezra tried not to sound too impatient, but he was more than ready to lay down again and try to meditate the discomfort away.

Hera smiled at that. “I think we can manage that, let me give you a hand here,” she offered.

 

* * *

 

Ezra really only had the energy for a quick tour of the main parts of the ship and cursory introductions to the other three members of Hera’s crew. He wasn’t yet sure what he thought of them, but he was fairly certain they weren’t impressed with him yet. It rankled a little, but once he healed up he’d prove that he could pull his own weight and more. For the moment though he was grateful for Kanan’s support as he sank down onto the bottom bunk.

“Did you know laying down uses your chest muscles? Because that’s a thing I could have gone without learning,” Ezra grumbled, taking a slow breath and trying to relax.

“Unfortunately yeah,” Kanan sat down on the bunk with him, he seemed to have figured out the knack for sitting down and getting up without jostling him too much.

“I’m guessing you have a good reason for wanting to keep us being together a secret as well as the other thing?” Ezra asked. He had tried not to think too hard about it, but there hadn’t really been time to question Kanan’s request before. Now though he’d had plenty of time to come up with a lot of reasons, both good and bad.

“That’s… Have you ever spent a lot of time working in close quarters with other people?” Kanan answered his question with a question.

“Not really?” Ezra admitted.

“I have, and people gossip and stick their nose in where it doesn’t belong. I want some time to do this on our own without anyone else interfering. I mean I can’t know for sure if Sabine and Zeb would, but I know Chopper can be rude. I’d rather not invite public commentary until I have to,” Kanan shrugged a little.

“Oh, good. I mean it’s not that I thought you were embarrassed about this, but… Ok, maybe I worried a little,” Ezra said, already feeling a little better. He hadn’t really thought about it, but thinking back he did remember that rudely speculating on other people’s sexual affairs was far from an uncommon topic of conversation. He just had never been that interested in it, so he hadn’t paid much attention. Being the center for that sort of speculation wasn’t really that pleasant an idea, though.

“You don’t need to worry. Either they’ll find out eventually, or we’ll tell them.” Kanan stood up to grab a spare pillow, fussing with getting Ezra’s ankle propped up before he sat back down.

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Ezra smiled, reaching to see if he could tug Kanan into leaning down. Kanan went with it eagerly and Ezra kissed him as thoroughly as he could manage without pressing up into it and making his ribs twinge. A lot had changed since he’d tried to pick one Kanan Jarrus’ pocket and despite a few setbacks he found he was looking forward to finding out exactly how far they could run with everything. It was bound to be an interesting ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fic through to the end! I have plans to work on a sequel dealing with Ezra and Kanan’s developing romantic relationship and them settling in and finding their place within the Ghost Crew. Until then though, I hope you enjoyed reading this!


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